Messi is Trans, Haaland will be the GOAT, & Trump Declares War on World Cup

Alex

Can either you explain why everybody's saying Argentina's cheating or why FIFA's cheating for Argentina? That's the shit I don't understand because I watched the game and I didn't see the cheating.

Schultz

So basically, if Messi's playing on the game, more people are going to watch. FIFA makes more money. So the theory from the people that don't like Messi is they're like, oh, they rigged the last World cup for him. They had like a controversial win versus the Netherlands and they got some calls going their way. And Messi makes it all the way to the final in this big, amazing final. Penalty kicks. Awesome. They're running it back. Messi. It seems like Argentina has a very easy bracket through the round of 32.

Alex

Who chooses the bracket? Like FIFA is it like some.

Schultz

It's a random draw.

Alex

Random draw.

Schultz

Random draw. It's a random draw for the group. And then in the brackets, it's all pre scheduled. So like the winner of this group will play the third place.

Alex

But it's not like the lotto shit where it's like the ball and they take it out.

Schultz

It's lotto for the groups. They do like a drawing based off country to get a bunch of different

Mark

countries in all different groups, but based on skill level. Like, there would never be a group that's like Portugal, Spain, Argentina.

Schultz

In the old World cup, there was always like a group of death. And it was just like, oh, there's like two really good teams, two kind of weaker teams. And then one group would just be packed and it's like, damn, this is the group of death. One of these great teams gonna go home.

Mark

And that's because they had less groups.

Schultz

Yeah, well, yeah, exactly. And since they expanded the tournament, it's a little bit more diluted.

Mark

Okay? So like, let's just call it what it is. World cup comes to America. It's the greatest World cup that's ever happened. Yes or no facts. Without a doubt. And I want you guys to know

Alex

that as we, as we speak, most watched world.

Mark

Well, 100% most watched. But as we speak on soccer today, we are not speaking on this as casuals. We're speaking on this as experts. We know the game, we love the game, and we invested our life in this game. So know that. Don't take anything we say with a grain of salt.

Schultz

People already mad that you're saying soccer.

Mark

Why? That's what it's actually called.

Alex

They're going to. They're going to change it.

Schultz

They're going to.

Alex

Who's that Trump's going to put the call in FIFA.

Mark

This is what they called it in Britain. It was the association of Football, asoc, Soccer.

Schultz

Boom, boom.

Mark

So this is. We are actually doing what they used to do. Nobody was calling it football in Brin. Yeah, we speak English.

Alex

Watch your mouth. Don't get nutmegged.

Schultz

Stop looking at my mouth. Can you guys stop getting nutmeg?

Mark

Is it not the greatest World cup that's ever happened? And this is probably people, it's going to be difficult for them to accept. Hopefully it's not right. But like, this is what America distributes to the entire world. Entertainment spectacle.

Schultz

I can't tell if it's bigger because it's happening here and like games are in New York City, technically East Rutherford, or if it's just because it's more games and it's a bigger World Cup. Objectively, you know, it feels like the vibes are, you can drink, that helps.

Mark

Can we just not do it in any fucking place in the Middle east where you can't drink? Like, if the Scottish aren't allowed to come, there's no point in having the World Cup.

Schultz

That's a good point.

Mark

Also, it's clean in the Middle East. You don't need the Japanese to do the one thing to do. And also we have to get off of that thing where like we praise the Japanese for cleaning up. You don't want that to be like what you're known for.

Schultz

Oh, it's nice. It's nice.

Mark

Imagine this what you're known for. They're like, oh, the Japanese are coming. They're gonna. Why don't you tidy up Pearl Harbor? There's some ships and planes. They never tidy that up 70 years ago. Get some scuba gear on, guys.

Alex

Let them have that reputation.

Mark

No, Maria Condo.

Schultz

Pearl Harbor.

Alex

Get.

Mark

Get your ass back under there, put some flippers on and clean the bottom of the ocean up.

Schultz

Whereas Knicks fans are known for stealing trash cans. I don't know if you saw that.

Mark

Listen, that girl got a lot of food. She got thrown industrial size trash can. You see the size of that woman?

Schultz

And she.

Alex

She did. Yeah, you didn't hear that?

Mark

I mean, the balls of JP Morgan thinking they can fire anybody for an ethical issue.

Schultz

I mean, it's pretty crazy. Like, it doesn't help that she's. This is kind of like the outfit she put on New York City Trash

Alex

can has been like.

Schultz

She has like a.

Mark

She walks like Fat Joe. She got that little lean walk, right?

Schultz

Yeah, the terror squad. Yeah, I like when they, when they wear the hats with no brimming. That's my favorite type of. Favorite type of fitted.

Alex

Oh, I didn't even beat that.

Mark

Is that Fat Joe? Like, is there a chance, like, with all due respect, obviously to Joe, but is there a chance. Is there a chance that he got, like, a Jewish wig on and he's just walking through my streets?

Schultz

It might be hair attached to the hat.

Mark

I think so.

Schultz

It might be a Rasta hat.

Mark

I don't blame that girl for taking that shit at all. That's fire memorabilia, bro.

Schultz

It's just a regular trash can painted.

Alex

Nah, but.

Mark

Nah, but it's the one.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

What do you mean the one?

Schultz

The one with all the trash.

Mark

Also that. Also that.

Schultz

Bro, you could have just taken any of the trash can, then painted it.

Mark

No, but then it wouldn't be the one. It would be a trash can painting. That's what that is.

Alex

No, that's not getting a replica.

Mark

Yeah, so, right. You could paint it on the Van Gogh. Does it make it a Van Gogh painted this? That's a New York Knicks parade trash

Schultz

can full of garbage and condoms from the parade.

Mark

This got a fake jersey on. You don't care about authenticity. So this is authentic?

Schultz

No. Yeah, but you can see the bottom of it is still green.

Mark

Bro, she's from the bottom of the ocean. Look how translucent that fat chick is. Just let her get a fucking trash can. She throw out her Wendy's at the

Schultz

end of the night.

Mark

Look, when she's ordering 300 worth of taco Bell. You think she could put that in a regular?

Schultz

She has four trash cans at her house.

Alex

She has hypothyroidism. Just. Just give it out.

Schultz

That's the biggest word you've ever said. I've never heard you say a word.

Mark

She got hypothyroid. Yo, my bad.

Alex

Hypo.

Schultz

I'm saying if you. How about this is a compromise. You can take the trash can.

Mark

We make a compromise.

Schultz

You got to take the trash with it.

Mark

She should absolutely take the trash. There's some fucking snacks in there. I'm surprised that she didn't take with it. Come on.

Schultz

What if she dumped it out and then just dumped, like, dove in the trash.

Mark

Oh. Face first?

Schultz

Would that have been more surprising or less?

Alex

Sesame Streets guy. Grimace or whatever the fuck.

Mark

Yeah, grimace.

Schultz

Oscar.

Alex

Oh, Oscar.

Mark

Oscar McDonald, you say, yeah. I didn't say, yeah, you should die. You say, yo, this guy. You read my lips wrong.

Schultz

No, we need Japan. We need Japan to come in for the next parade.

Mark

Imagine she did that in Japan. How many Hari cars you would see just in the middle of the street. Japanese businessman stabbing themselves with a chopstick.

Schultz

No, they would have come and collected the bottles. They would have been stoked. They would have called the pit boss and like, dude, you hit it. They would have gone crazy. No. Am I wrong for that?

Mark

No, no.

Schultz

Why?

Mark

It's just so funny how quick it is like this. This. This. This great celebration of the World cup, bringing these cultures together and, like, how everybody really appreciated, and it only take us, like, 15 minutes on a podcast between, like, before. We're like, they fucking suck. These guys are too clean. Mexico rules.

Alex

All right.

Schultz

What about Norway? Norwegian fans. Be cool.

Mark

Yeah, yeah. Norwegian fans are cool.

Schultz

Maybe.

Alex

Nice.

Schultz

The row.

Mark

I think the row is a little mid, to be honest with you.

Schultz

Why?

Mark

It's just like. I like this one. Yeah, that's all right.

Alex

I like that America started doing that shit, though.

Mark

Say again?

Alex

America started doing that shit. We tried to copy that shit.

Mark

We did.

Alex

Yeah. And we wasn't on beat with it.

Mark

So here's a good question. What should America do as our chance?

Schultz

Oh, you saw that?

Mark

Dude, dude, I posted it. It was amazing.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

The accurate chance. Oh, no. It's so funny.

Mark

Let me see if I got it.

Schultz

I can find it. But we do. We're not like a chanting culture, right? Like, the Knicks have the same Go

Mark

New York, Go wave.

Schultz

Did we start the. Do we invent that?

Alex

I think it's either a Mexico or American thing, but that's us.

Mark

Yeah, but the wave is. It doesn't get you hype like a

Alex

champ when you're there. And that shit's coming around you. You kind of.

Mark

Yeah, I'm not gonna lie. The Brits got the wittiest ones.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Yeah. I mean, the one that the guy made in the thing, you reposted one of your own. One of your own Adolf Hitler.

Mark

Yeah, we got it.

Schultz

The guy did that on Against America with Epstein.

Mark

Can you get it up?

Schultz

Yeah. I don't like that you're looking at me like I'm in your phone. I'm gonna find it, but I just need one second.

Mark

Oh, man.

Alex

Yo, but the. Though. Can we talk about that for a second?

Mark

Tell me, tell me. I'm married, dude.

Alex

We can. We can.

Schultz

I'm married.

Alex

Appreciate.

Mark

Appreciate what? No, no, no, tell me, tell me.

Alex

I'm just saying, there was daddy cam.

Mark

Yeah, yeah. Like, the cameraman.

Alex

The cameramen, like, they're really good at finding the best stock.

Mark

And have you been. Have you been jerking off to it? That's why you got the wrist guard on? Have you injured yourself watching cup matches?

Alex

N. I myself playing the most manly sport there is, tennis, you know. All right.

Mark

Respect.

Schultz

That's kind of worse, actually.

Alex

Respect. No, no, it is kind of.

Schultz

It is crazy.

Alex

I'd rather injure myself jerking off. Them. Injure myself.

Schultz

There's one guy's job at the World cup to find hot women.

Alex

Yes.

Schultz

And then during the break, just cut to them. Yeah, It's a remarkable job.

Alex

He did a phenomenal job.

Schultz

He's been doing good.

Alex

Yeah. Every game is like one that just takes off, like. And then everybody's talking about it. We all know. We saw the twins.

Mark

Nah, show me the twins.

Alex

You saw the country.

Schultz

What country?

Mark

What country? Come on, what country? What country?

Alex

It was Ivory Coast. It was Ivory coast was Portugal.

Mark

Oh, yeah, I saw it.

Alex

Yeah. I mean, there we go. Look at that. Come on now.

Mark

N. That's AI, bro.

Alex

No, no, there's. That's just a phenomenal cameraman. We should hire him.

Mark

We should hire them.

Schultz

Yeah, we need to hire them, actually. I think they are the talent.

Alex

That's what I'm talking about. Nah, come on now.

Mark

That's crazy that you haven't zoomed in already. Crazy that you think that's better.

Schultz

You think they're twins? I mean, come on now. You can't.

Mark

That's four things

Schultz

I'm looking at.

Mark

The twins.

Schultz

I don't know.

Alex

Yeah, but come on, that is.

Schultz

And people have just been making straight up AI hot girls at games. Have you seen that? No, it's just like, AI videos where they're not real. And all the people in the comments like, who is this?

Alex

Oh, I. I saw girls making AI of themselves being at games, but they're not.

Schultz

No.

Alex

Yeah, like some Cornish.

Mark

That's diabolical.

Alex

Yeah, you know, that's what it is.

Schultz

I mean, there's just whole, like Twitter threads of just baddies.

Mark

Let me see. But this is not good.

Schultz

Hold on.

Mark

Go back one. What in the hell is going on? What country is that even? That's France.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

There's no French girl that looks like that. That's not what they look like.

Alex

You see them on the shirt?

Mark

That's not what they look. That's not a Brazilian.

Schultz

That's a classic looking Brazilian Michael Jackson.

Mark

Yeah. There's no way Japan. Look at that purse is struggling. Get out of this, AI. I don't want to see AI. I want to see real people.

Schultz

Yeah, right. That's gotta be real bad.

Alex

There's been a lot of nice ones.

Schultz

That's gotta be bad for, like, the cosmic energy all these guys goon into. AI. Yeah, like, you're giving your power away,

Mark

you know, to add to whom? To Peter Thiel.

Schultz

Yeah, to Peter Thiel and Jensen Huang.

Mark

Jensen Huang?

Schultz

Yeah, probably.

Mark

I mean, you gotta give it away. So, I mean, is it more respectful to jerk off to a. To a real girl?

Schultz

I think so.

Mark

Even though she might be unaware of it? What other. Wait, hold on. Let's talk about, like, is a girl you're jerking off to ever aware of it?

Alex

Yes, if they doing only fans and like that.

Schultz

But.

Mark

But do you only jerk off to only fans girls? I don't know if I'm j only fan girl if you're doing porn. What if you're just going through the memory, the Rolodex.

Alex

Oh, no. That'll count.

Mark

But. This is a reflection pool.

Alex

Right now.

Mark

I don't want to even indulge in the discussion. Like, so what are the rules? Like, can you jerk off to Are memories your own? Like, once you see a person, is the memory of them your own? And now you can goon to that? Yeah, that's legal.

Alex

Yeah, but we don't do it no more.

Mark

But, yeah, you can't help if you try to jerk off with respect to your relationship and then a nah, one

Alex

pops in, boom, you got stopped.

Mark

Yo, these bitches are nasty. You trying to jerk off to your wife creeping in? How you think I hurt my hand?

Schultz

Smash it up.

Mark

You trying to hate that, bro. You trying to just ethically jerk off? And the girl just comes in the room like, yeah, she not doing that right? Like, why would you come in the room like that?

Schultz

You got to meditate better.

Mark

I think that. That, like, if we went to a court of law, if we spoke. If we spoke to a constitutional lawyer, they would say that a memory is not a real thing. Like, a memory of somebody or anything like that is not a real thing. So you don't. You don't need to ask the memory if you could do it.

Schultz

The memory is yours.

Mark

The memory is yours.

Schultz

Kind of beautiful.

Mark

It's beautiful. So. So that means you don't need to ask permission to jerk off.

Schultz

Might be way weirder if you did.

Mark

Way weirder.

Schultz

But then you call someone up 10

Mark

years later, be like, yo, can I. Can I run this? How would you feel about.

Alex

I kind of pull that move sort of. Kind of way back in the day, I was like, yo, can I hold on to the. The joints fellator?

Mark

You know, you kept images of girls

Alex

from the past like 10, 15 years,

Schultz

30 years ago, 40 years ago. Is there film, photos?

Mark

How do you even do that? Don't those just get deleted? Can we move on?

Schultz

Can we go back to the World cup immediately before you guys ruin your lives?

Mark

Wait, what?

Schultz

Can we go back to this?

Mark

I've.

Alex

It was in the past.

Mark

I lost the phones.

Schultz

Apple.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

Is that's a roll of the dice every time when it brings a random picture up from back to Texas. What type of Russian roulette is Tim Cook playing over here? That's the shit you want to bring up today?

Alex

This memory from five years ago?

Mark

Yo, I'm trying to be on a family vacation. You bringing up old bitches. Tim Cook.

Alex

Tim Cook.

Schultz

That's how you know he's gay.

Mark

That's how you know he's gay.

Schultz

He's in, like, open relationship.

Mark

He's like, oh, who cares? Who cares? We care.

Alex

That's why he's out of here.

Mark

Ye. I gotta make all the boxes small to even go back to that area. I gotta go like that on the picture. So they get tiny. It looks like a collage. And then you be like, wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Fortune.

Alex

That bitch.

Mark

And then maybe. Maybe there's something I forgot to delete.

Schultz

Yeah, and then you delete it immediately.

Mark

Immediately, immediately. I just hose off my phone.

Schultz

How angry are you at?

Alex

Don't go to recent deletes ever.

Mark

What is that?

Schultz

Like, how angry would you be? Like, if you found an old picture? Like, how angry would you be? Like, what would you do? You open your phone

Mark

like, Dilbert. Who's angry? Yeah, you.

Schultz

And you delete a hard.

Mark

I'll delete the out of that picture, man. All right, guys, Shows. Halifax, Nova Scotia. First time ever coming there, putting on an unreal show. Okay, August 8th, I'm coming up. We got Marky Gagnon. We got SNL and Kill Tony's Cam Patterson. We got Lucas Zelnick. I think we're gonna have some locals as well. It's gonna be a hell of a show. You come check it out. The Garrison Grounds. Great Outdoors Fest, August 8th. Theatershultz.com and thank you guys so much for coming out to the shows out in. In Los Angeles or the Los Angeles. The Greater Los Ang, I should say Shout out Pasadena in Ontario. We also got Bray out there, man. Thank you guys so much for selling out those shows. Been amazing audiences. And shout out our boy, man. Shout out boy Emiliano telling the craziest story maybe in the history of comedy. That was a wild thing to share. And also thank you so much, sir. Emiliano for and Grandma's Boy Catering, by the way, Grandma's Boys Catering. His catering company came and catered. Our next show that we did out in Ontario just brought out some fire ass tacos for everybody, man. So shout out Grandma's Boys hater. If you need someone out there, he's the boy. And thank you for sharing that story, getting that off your chest. Go live your life, my boy. We refuse to let these hoes win. Another quick update with shows. Sorry, I'm filming this in my crib because I just found out Brea, we're gonna have to move the shows on the 17th and 18th to the 24th and 25th. I'm so sorry for any inconvenience. My bad. My, my bad. My bad. This movie schedule has shifted so we have to shift with it. Again, I'm sorry. But we're also going to be adding shows on the 23rd as well. So we'll do the 23rd to the 25th. So if you couldn't get shows to the 17th and 18th, couldn't get tickets. Now we also have two more shows on the 23rd and then all your tickets will be honored on the for the 17th and 18th on the 24th and 25th. If you can't make it, obviously contact the club and they'll sort you out for everything. But again, I'm so sorry for the inconvenience, guys, but I'm looking forward to seeing you. Peace.

Schultz

Hey, guys, great news. I'm going to be in Plano, Texas, Chandler, Arizona, Pasadena, California, San Diego, California, Detroit, Michigan and Salt Lake City headlining my very own shows. Come on out to see one hour of stand up comedy. It's the best I got and I can't wait to see you guys there. Let's grab a photo afterwards. Alex.

Alex

Guys, let's get off the Internet and let's hang out in real life. I got my tennis clinic. Tennis for the people. Whether you're trying to be professional like me or you've never held a tennis racket in your life, we have a course for you to play on. We got music, we got food, we got giveaways. Just head over to theall loveclub.com to secure your spot. It's going to be on July 25th. See you guys there. Peace.

Schultz

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

Mark

Listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling smart move. Another smart move getting help from one of State Farm's 19,000 local agents. When you choose to bundle home and auto bundle.

Schultz

Just another way to save with the personal price plan.

Mark

Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state.

Schultz

All right, back to the World cup, dude.

Mark

Yeah, can we get back to the World Cup? We were trying. We were talking about lip reading. Then you brought up bad. Then you only brought up AI Stuff you didn't bring up. You brought up two girls.

Alex

I know.

Schultz

Of the whole World Cup. Okay, fine. No, we're not getting more. No, we're focusing on the World Cup.

Mark

Were there any repeats? Remember there was that, like, Croatian baddie or something back in the day? Did she run it back? Did she get the attention? Attention?

Schultz

No, I think she aged out.

Mark

Oh, four years is a lot of years.

Schultz

It's a long time.

Mark

That's a lot of years for a thoroughbred.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

You can't put a legacy patch on the girls. That's what I'm talking like, yo, she's not old.

Schultz

She's legacy.

Mark

That's crazy. I like that.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

I'm not in the mills. I'm in a legacy, you know? That's beautiful.

Mark

You gotta dap that up. You got. If you see him, you gotta dap them up.

Schultz

Yo, last World cup, you were on one.

Mark

You were on one. So is this hand.

Schultz

All right? Back to the World Cup.

Mark

But glad we figured out. I'm glad we figured out if that is. If that is okay to do.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Because I think it is.

Schultz

A lot of people are probably wondering. They're probably listening to this, being like, is it okay?

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

And they're probably angry whenever they see it. And now you've.

Alex

Yeah, we help you.

Schultz

You've commiserated.

Alex

That's what we do.

Schultz

Yeah. USA got knocked out. And yo, man, Schultz, one of the most foremost soccer football journalists, experts commenting the whole time in the group chat. Just like his soccer hot days.

Mark

Yo, how. How ass was my. Or how on point was it? It was kind of on point.

Schultz

I don't.

Mark

I mean, was on point. What was I asked with?

Schultz

Yo, give it to Pulisic. Just give him the rock.

Alex

You just said, give him the bowl and let him cook.

Schultz

Give the ball. Every time someone tell me why not?

Mark

No one else has to touch it. So this is what I was seeing as an expert in soccer. Yeah. And I listen, I don't want to trash my Americans. Obviously. I love you guys, and you gave a great effort, and we're very proud of you for as far as you guys got. Okay, let me just caveat with that.

Schultz

We got as far as Brazil, right? That's something.

Mark

Say again?

Schultz

We got as far as Brazil.

Mark

We got as far as Brazil, which is far. Yeah, okay. But Pulisic is the only guy with touch.

Schultz

All right?

Mark

I mean, nobody got touched.

Alex

What about the one that Trump cheated for?

Mark

Well, but he doesn't bring the ball. He's not in the midfield. This is what it looked like for me watching as an expert. For me watching as an expert, what it looked like is the guys that are supposed to develop the play, so I'm looking at it through, like, point guard lens here, don't have enough touch to advance the ball against the defense and cause problems. So they would get it past them by some defender. And, like, what I noticed with the really good guys is they're either using the momentum of the ball or they're stopping it so tightly that you can make a move, and you. And the defender is now reacting to another reaction. But the US Guys, it just seems like they have to stop it, kind of trap it a little bit, then develop the next play, and it just stops that kind of fluid in the offense. Whereas Pulisic. Is it Pulisic or Pulisic sick?

Schultz

Pulisic.

Mark

Probably P. Pulisic. That's how you. From where he's from.

Schultz

But. No, that's where he's from.

Mark

But if he's American. Yeah, exactly. Pulisic. But whereas he. He just seemed like he had better touch, and he also could, like, operate in tight spaces better. That's the other thing. It's like, when I looked at these, like, teams that were really nice, they weren't as frantic in tight spaces. They were, like, really patient. They got three other guys around them, and they don't have this, like, urgency to get the ball. They have this confidence that they'll be able to dribble through all them. And I feel like when we get in these tight spaces, we either turn the ball over or we don't have the confidence that we can make it through, or the play kind of breaks down.

Alex

What I saw, they were just, like, standing around a lot. Like, nobody was trying to make a move.

Mark

Make runs.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Like, they seem nervous. They seem. They seem.

Mark

They seem like that.

Schultz

It seemed like the moment got to them because in the group stage, I think they played a lot better. And in the final game against Belgium, like, Malik Tillman was really the only one that was, like, really making anything.

Mark

I thought he was. I thought he was cooking, and I thought early Pulisic was. Was at least advancing the ball, at least like, putting ourselves in positions to score. But I didn't see any, like, development of offense or any of that.

Schultz

What do we gotta do? How do we turn around the American soccer program? We do this every four years. We lose and we say, you know what? We're gonna fix it.

Alex

We gotta change our style of play.

Schultz

Ooh.

Alex

Like, stop with the trying to set up, like, set pieces. Like, just as soon as the other team, like, tries to score. Run that.

Mark

That's what we used to do.

Alex

Nah, we used to do that.

Mark

It was trash.

Alex

Imagine we did that with Pulisic

Mark

Flo Baligan also, everybody. What did y' all think about the whole Trump with getting him off?

Schultz

It just felt. It's like it might not even been the wrong thing.

Mark

Just felt icky, man.

Alex

Yo, you a turncoat.

Mark

Not even turncoat. It's like, don't stop being corrupt now.

Schultz

That's a good point. I like that.

Mark

Yeah.

Alex

You break it from all this shit.

Mark

He's already corrupt.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Corrupt for us.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Yeah. You corrupt him for you and your family. Corrupt for America.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

Don't stop being corrupt and start being ethical when we are trying to win a World Cup. And our best player that was here for 10 minutes with a full English accent, who's nasty, by the way.

Alex

That's what I'm saying.

Mark

We just don't even have the guys who can get him the rock.

Schultz

That's the problem.

Mark

Because that motherfucker is nasty fast. Oh, my God. It'll be terrifying defending that guy.

Alex

You need a good number nine.

Schultz

Well, who's even watching the game?

Alex

We experts over here.

Schultz

That's your jerk hand.

Mark

You need that?

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

No. So, yeah, so obviously we need more guys in the midfield, and we have. Weirdly, I thought that Americans would have speed. We have no speed on the ball, which was, like, very odd. Like, I feel like we would get chased down in the midfield. So it's like we don't have speed on the ball. And then we didn't really seem to have size. I looked at some of these other guys, these teams playing, like, even the small guys use their body, and it's, like, impossible for the other team with one person to take the ball away from them. So it's like. Yeah, we just got a big deficit with control.

Alex

You don't really need sides if you

Mark

nice and you know how to use your body.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

And you're filled with HGH since you're seven.

Schultz

Yo, that's fire. How do we get our kids on that?

Mark

I mean, why? We have it for every Other sport. Why not start juicing up these fucking soccer players.

Schultz

Yeah, yeah. If we can make kids trans, make them put them on testosterone. Put every kid on testosterone.

Mark

Messy's trans.

Alex

We need more.

Mark

No, Messi's trans, bro. I don't think. I think that's a big dub for the trans community. He's trans.

Schultz

Gender affirming care.

Mark

It is super affirming, but it also transitioned him into 59 or whatever. 5 8, whatever. He was supposed to be 5 2.

Alex

He's like trans normal. Cuz he should have been a.

Mark

Exact. Exactly, exactly. Think about that.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

How is the trans community not owning it?

Schultz

I mean, everyone's trying to get a big person.

Alex

Maybe not normal.

Schultz

Not clean it up. Everyone's trying to get a piece of Messi, bro.

Mark

Why would you.

Schultz

What you saying Israel was like, yo, you know where Messi grew up?

Mark

On Israel Street.

Alex

Really? Oh, gosh. Nah, that tall ass, this retarded looking, like, that's the guy who. The one on Norway, Early Holland. He has a really retarded face.

Mark

It's mad, but it is odd looking. It is. Come on. We can call it striking. He's striking.

Schultz

Striking.

Mark

He's striking.

Alex

That's what you say when you see an ugly kid. It's like, oh, such a striking thing.

Mark

I had to see if any of y' all called my son or daughter striking. You think Holland. Do you think that he has a peculiar looking face?

Alex

Yeah, But I do think he will be the best soccer player of all time.

Schultz

Whoa.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

I mean, if he can, like, pull off like a crazy run in this World cup, it's not. Hey, he's one of the highest paid players in the world already.

Alex

Oh, really? Oh, God.

Mark

Can I. Can I just make a statement real quick? Are Norwegians the.

Alex

Are.

Mark

Are they the finest of the white race? Ooh, like, if we had to just wait.

Alex

We talk about. Fine, fine or just.

Mark

No, I mean, like, are they the best ethnic specimen that we have?

Schultz

Okay, careful.

Mark

I'm not.

Schultz

No.

Mark

I thought I was, like, maybe Serbians are like. Because they. We're talking about undersized countries that over deliver on athletic things.

Schultz

Okay, all right. Okay. You're digging it out.

Mark

What did I say?

Schultz

What?

Mark

I mean, what did I say? Tell me what I meant. Hey, what did I mean? What did I say that was wrong? No, I mean, like. Like that country has no people in it. They're the nicest at the winter sports.

Schultz

Okay.

Mark

Yeah, they're nice as hell at soccer. Like, are they genetically the best whites?

Alex

Okay, okay, let's think about this.

Mark

Did I. Did I fuck it up?

Schultz

The genetic part, it just. It feels.

Mark

But I'm only talking about white people when I say it. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're better than other genders. Just the best of the white genetics on the races.

Schultz

I'm not saying races are the best gender. I agree.

Mark

I fully agree, but.

Alex

All right.

Schultz

You almost feel your mustache that the inky died. What's her name? The mustache. What was the girl's name that gave you a mustache?

Mark

Oh, Aiko.

Schultz

Aiko. Yeah.

Mark

Aiko.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

We could talk about.

Schultz

Cuz Hy was big on the Norwegians. No, I'm telling you. Hitler was big on the Nor. He was big on like, the Nordics. He was like, yo, the Nordics. Got it.

Mark

You got a nickname for H. You just said it.

Alex

You know you like to do it.

Mark

You got a nickname. It's like just he and BB holding hands. Just nicknames are the worst human beings. Whatever.

Alex

Nice, man.

Schultz

Adolfo was big on the Nordic. So you got to.

Mark

Adolfo? Dude, yo, you got too many Hitler pods, bro. Like 40 nicknames for the boy.

Alex

He's like, how do we stay demonetized? I mean, monetized. Yeah.

Schultz

You can't say the name. Can we.

Mark

Can we just. All right, genetically speaking, is that the best whites. Serbians are up there, too. They're nasty. They have 3 million people or something like that.

Schultz

I mean, Ruskis, like the, like. Like Rockies Rocky made. They made a whole movie off of the hottest white guy ever.

Mark

But Mark, that's a fake movie. We're talking about real.

Schultz

I know, but life imitates art. You know what I mean? Is that what it is?

Mark

No. Art imitates life.

Schultz

See, you got it.

Mark

No, I don't got it.

Schultz

Yeah, you disagree with me. You just said it.

Mark

Why won't you just go there? The most genetically gifted.

Schultz

No, it's just art of conversation.

Mark

You making me feel like I'm saying something wrong.

Schultz

Let's do it with another race.

Mark

Let's do it with another race.

Alex

What about the rugby whites?

Schultz

Okay, like the.

Alex

They're tough.

Mark

No, they're very tough. They're very. Look, they're very tough.

Schultz

Like Australia.

Alex

Who are the rugby.

Mark

Nobody's really sure if that's a real thing. What, you mean rugby? And with all due respect to guys who play rugby. Okay, but nobody's sure what it is.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Like, have you watched it?

Schultz

Not on tv. I don't think they televise it.

Mark

I don't even know if they know what to do. Like, when you watch it, you're like, are there rules to this shit? They seem surprised sometimes. Yeah.

Schultz

And wedgies are a part of the game.

Mark

You see that part of the game.

Schultz

I don't know why they do that.

Mark

There's a lot going on there.

Alex

Crash, full speed. Just head on.

Mark

No, no, no.

Alex

That's a different. Different type of way.

Mark

Listen.

Alex

It's a different type of way, okay? Let me just say that.

Mark

Do you consider Samoans, like Maoris, Hawaiians, do you consider them Asian, or is that Pacific Islander?

Schultz

I think it's his own thing.

Mark

It's its own thing.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

You can't consider them Asian.

Schultz

Polynesian.

Mark

Polynesian, yeah.

Schultz

They're soft.

Mark

Pacific Islander. Okay. Because if we were gonna say that's Asian. No, no, Genetically speaking, you would have to give it to them. They're like freaks of nature. Agility, strength, speed, like, it's unbelievable. You've never seen anything like this before. That's true. Grew up on an island with no natural predators. They just grow, grow, grow.

Schultz

That's a good point. That's true.

Mark

That is how it works. You have no natural predators and you have food that's plentiful. You just keep on growing, growing, growing.

Schultz

That's a good point.

Mark

So you would have to give it to them, but you're excluding them from the Asian category.

Schultz

I don't know if they're Asian. They don't feel Asian and they don't feel Asian. You know what I mean? They got tattoos and shit.

Mark

They don't feel Asian spiritually, is what you're saying.

Schultz

Exactly.

Mark

Not spiritually exactly.

Schultz

They're their own thing. They're almost like Mongolian. And I don't even really consider Mongolians Asian.

Alex

Nah, stop.

Mark

I don't consider Mongolians, which is because they. They really ran shit for a very long time.

Alex

But that's Asian.

Mark

But we're not really talking about them enough.

Schultz

Kind of its own thing, I think.

Alex

What about the monkey whites? The stands and this. There are monkey whites.

Mark

I guess I get how it feels now. I get how it feels now. Because it always felt wrong, right? It always felt wrong.

Alex

But now.

Mark

Now. Now, yeah, that. Now it's even. Yeah, it's like the sting is different.

Schultz

Yes, they might be Asian.

Mark

No, they're Asian. They're Asian. Yeah, but that's like an Uzbek person.

Schultz

Yeah, he's Kazak.

Mark

I gotta say, they're a very impressive. They're very impressive for the Asians in terms of genetics.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

Very impressive.

Alex

Tree climbers.

Mark

I don't think there's A lot of

Schultz

trees in the sand.

Mark

I think there's step.

Schultz

Particularly plain trees.

Mark

Why you got step?

Schultz

Why you. Okay, the Norwegians are up there.

Mark

Who else?

Schultz

As far as whites?

Mark

Yeah, like, I mean, American. It's really going to be up to Al to bring up anybody else?

Schultz

No. Southern American, whites, Southern American boys, I think they can get it done.

Mark

I'll be honest with you. In terms of strength. Yeah. Stature, swag, without a doubt. What athleticism. They're restricted to like playing lineman types of positions where you don't put a hammer there.

Schultz

Let them hammer through, let them shot put. Let's see what they could do. I don't even know if they have that kind of technology.

Mark

We're not really talking about that. We're not really talking about that. We're talking about athleticism. Running and jumping. That's athleticism.

Schultz

Just running, Jumping.

Mark

That's what athleticism is. Running and jumping.

Alex

Endurance.

Schultz

Okay. I mean, low key Italians are like, sneaky, good at like, random running.

Mark

What place did they get in the world? You're not even allowed to bring up a country that's not at the World Cup. Yeah, this is the sport everyone cares about.

Schultz

Austria, Bosnia.

Mark

You see him bringing his boy back. Wait, you see him bringing his boy back? He don't even realize it. He don't even realize it, but he brought it back.

Alex

One of your own?

Schultz

I don't know. They might be the. They might be the most athletic ones.

Mark

All right, Al, what do you think?

Alex

Yeah, I'm going to just go with them because I like this tall, retarded looking guy.

Mark

I mean, Al, Al, Al. He's a friend of the show.

Schultz

He's one of our best friends.

Alex

Yeah, but he has a sense of humor. He like this.

Schultz

He's extremely funny.

Mark

Yo, he got some good stuff.

Schultz

You saw when the, the lady came up to him. They're like staying at like an Airbnb, I guess, like in the Norwegian national team. And she's like, yeah, I heard, I heard one of y' all was a, a professional soccer player. And it's. She's talking to him and he's like, no, I'm just a social media guy. Just like plays it off just like around.

Alex

See, I like that.

Mark

He's just a nice guy. Have you seen the one of him seeing his own reflection in the mirror and he got scared. That was good. That's nice. Look at it. You can find. I'm not making that up. The fact that you're laughing at it, it means you agree with that. Agree with me. And that is really.

Alex

I think I'm the monster.

Schultz

I think you're pulling it funny right now. I don't even really believe.

Mark

Why don't you look it up and see and then see how horrible of a person you are? Yeah, okay, let me find out.

Schultz

All right, Holland.

Mark

What jersey is that?

Schultz

This is France. This is.

Mark

What's the. What's the animal on that?

Alex

That's a rooster.

Mark

So that's their. Yeah, that's the thing. They never be in the allegations. They've really never been allegations of all the animals you could put.

Alex

You just now realized that.

Mark

Shit, they're called the roosters.

Alex

No, I mean, I don't know what they're called.

Schultz

That's like their national symbol is the roosters. Yeah.

Alex

Whoa. We got a bald eagle.

Mark

That's fire. Way better bird.

Schultz

Yeah, that's a good point. It's a different bird.

Alex

Nah, but I don't like the fact that they shitting on American food though. You heard that?

Mark

They should look at him. Look at him. Look at him.

Alex

Come on.

Mark

See, the point is funny.

Schultz

Okay, you know what? My bad, my bad, my bad.

Mark

Got my hair cut. Nobody want to give me credit, you know what I mean? Nobody want to give me credit.

Alex

He's doing it way better than you

Schultz

n. He let it flow. It's the. It's the Viking flow in the back. That's really what it is. I mean, what an.

Alex

He's striking.

Schultz

He's striking. Striking.

Mark

Yeah, he's very striking. When he's at home and no one's around. You think he walks on his knuckles a little bit Just when he's at home and nobody's around. Just the way he was chewing right there. Just the way he was chewing. He's got him.

Alex

You put love on his spectrum. He's a castmate.

Mark

Stop it.

Alex

Like, stop it.

Mark

He just thinks it's the real world. Anything interesting?

Schultz

You saw his walk when he walks

Mark

off the field like wonderful Frankenstein type. That is a badass.

Alex

Telling you, he will be the nicest player to ever play the sport. Mark my words.

Schultz

You see, you see the girl that's been going viral, cuz she kind of looks like him. Oh, yeah.

Alex

Oh, whoa, whoa.

Schultz

Nah,

Alex

Bro, that is nuts.

Mark

Let me, let me, let me. Now he's in the Champions League. Yeah, see, there you go. I'm telling you, the Brits are the best at the. The chance because they're funny with it. Did you see the one with your. Where they're playing Swedes? You shit. You shit. Your birds are fit, but you're shit. Great.

Schultz

But that's, like, most of the game. That's what makes soccer so great, is because there is a little bit of downtime. So in the meantime, you're kind of just, like. It's like tailgating, but you're inside the arena. You know what I mean?

Alex

I went to yes, right.

Schultz

That's a great, like, hanging. You're drinking, you're talking shit.

Mark

But it also exposes, like, the humor of your culture.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

And it exposes, like, some interesting things about the culture. So, like, the Brits are kind of, like, witty far. They're witty. They're, like, fun, funny. And they're musical. Brits are musical. And the Argentines are just, like, racist pieces of.

Alex

Yes.

Schultz

Like, that's. Why do all the South Americans hate Argentina, son.

Mark

When. Sorry to cut you on this one, but when the guy called. Disabled Uruguay. Oh, yeah, for Paraguay.

Schultz

That's funny.

Mark

That's good. No, why do they all eat Argentina?

Schultz

I mean, I didn't know there was so much heat.

Alex

Racist. Fuck.

Schultz

We're uncovering new racism that I didn't know existed.

Mark

Argentine people are sick. And they're, like, cool. I think they're racist, but ask the South American history. So the issue is that they really. I think the issue is they really identify with their European roots more so than most of the Central and South American countries. So, like, they're quick to be like, oh, my dad's Italian, or my. My grandpa's this from Spain. And, like, they'll. They're like, we're European. And I think they really branded on, like, European and, like, whiteness. And a lot of the other countries in Central South America, you know, at least while there is that colorism, they still adopted some of, like, the indigenous

Alex

attitude and cultural effects really do have a racist history. Like, they were in battles, and they would put all the black people on the front lines, and then when they won.

Mark

Who the fuck would do that?

Alex

Dude.

Schultz

Yeah.

Alex

That's crazy.

Mark

What country would do. To think like that. What country would go to a pointless war and then put American. No.

Schultz

World War II. We didn't even let y' all fight.

Mark

Let y' all fight.

Schultz

You're welcome. Welcome. You guys beg to be in an airplane. We're like, fine, let them fly.

Mark

Give them the one with the red tips. They'll find it first.

Alex

And we were the nicest. We were the nicest.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Actually true.

Schultz

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess they probably were a little racist, the Argentinians.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

But everyone is. Every country in South America is racist. You don't think the Brazilians are racist?

Alex

Yeah, but like, when you're openly racist, like when they wanted to increase the population to like only bring in white people, you know, kind of like, who,

Mark

who else has done that?

Alex

You know, kind of like, you know,

Mark

who else would do such a thing?

Schultz

That's annoying. We did a lot of the same shit and we're still terrible at soccer. Like, at least their racism got them a World Cup. You know what I mean?

Alex

No, we need more of those fucking soccer concentration camps.

Schultz

Oh, that's a good point.

Alex

That's really neat.

Mark

Wait, how does it work?

Alex

All the other countries, they got these fucking soccer camps where they pluck kids from South America and then they force them to play soccer until they're like 16.

Mark

My understanding was what happens here is that, like, it's incredibly expensive to put your kid in an elite soccer program. Whereas, like in Europe or South America or Central America, like as a young kid, you're already part of an institution and making that institution money. So like you're at the youth academy for Barcelona or something like that, and like they're selling tickets to those games and like you're contracted and they're lending you out to other teams. So it's basically you've created like a capitalist incentive to curate talent.

Alex

Yeah, but the creature also funding it.

Mark

Say again?

Alex

The country is also funding it. Sure, country's paying these kids way, but it's really cutthroat. The moment you stop playing good, you're out of the school.

Mark

Yeah.

Alex

So it's like.

Schultz

Yeah, you hear stories about that every now and then it'll be like a 20 year old dude is like homeless and he's like, yeah, I was in like the Arsenal Academy, then I got cut. Yeah.

Alex

And my girls tell me in Spain, they take every single kid, put them in that school at a certain point, and then if you're not good, you're out. So like every single person and they see if you have what it takes to be a soccer player, they don't do that here.

Schultz

There also is a cultural element. I don't know if you've seen this. A lot of people are saying that Brazil was way better when they were Catholic.

Mark

They're not Catholic anymore.

Schultz

Nah, dude, they're all evangelical Protestants.

Mark

What? What changed?

Schultz

They got. They sent the boys down there and they flipped them all, all of them, 30 to 40%.

Alex

Wow.

Schultz

Wow. Isn't that crazy? But back when they were Catholic, I mean, look at this. Evangelical Protestant sterilization has flattened their ball, ruined their Samba and obliterated their sweat.

Alex

That's funny.

Schultz

I mean, come on. You think a Protestant could do that? Dude, this is pure cat.

Mark

Oh, that's Catholicism.

Schultz

That's Catholicism, bro. That's Catholic swag. They were. Brazil was better when their players were womanizers, drunkards, and slightly out of shape when they were behaving like Catholics, letting the power of friendship and good fun do the heavy lifting.

Alex

That's funny.

Schultz

That's what we need.

Alex

Yo. You need the Ronaldo cut, bro.

Mark

The old Ronaldo cut, yo. Just in the chest, that front joint, bro. Did you hear the story about why he did that?

Alex

No.

Mark

Oh, no, no, not even that.

Schultz

Not even that.

Mark

Yes. No. Apparently he had some, like, ankle injury or something like that, and he didn't want people talking about it, so he shaved this to just be like, the front where the front of the hair is there. And then the whole conversation became about this, like, weird haircut that he had. And now the media stopped talking about the potential injury. Fire.

Schultz

Right.

Mark

If that. If that is true, that's what Balakin should done.

Schultz

He, like, everyone's talking about this red card Ch. This haircut.

Alex

Bang.

Schultz

Just cut the sides.

Mark

He's nasty, that bin guy.

Schultz

Nice, right?

Mark

What team does he play for?

Schultz

Monaco.

Mark

Yeah, we need to get him off that. We need to get him on a real team.

Schultz

Yeah, but Monaco's so nice.

Mark

I mean, is it.

Alex

Oh, why can't we just bribe players

Mark

to play for us? What do you think we're doing?

Alex

No, no.

Mark

What do you think we've been doing?

Schultz

The players have to use sign language to talk to each other. They don't.

Mark

None of them speak English. English. Kicking a ball. How much talk are you

Schultz

seeing them talk? I was so shocked hearing Malik Tillman talk. I was like, this guy's got to be a. This gu. This guy's a pure blooded American, you know?

Mark

And what did he say?

Schultz

Let me. Let me. Let me tell.

Alex

Pass me.

Mark

Is the balls. Put it on my header. Pass it to me on this side. It's. He's a German kid, right?

Schultz

I'm pretty sure. Yeah.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

It's. It's just a little shocking. You're like, oh, wow. I didn't know that that was. That was in there. Everything is huge over there. I. Everything is just big.

Mark

Also, the coach. Doesn't Russell Crowe have movies to make? And, like, when did we get this guy? Do we like this guy?

Schultz

Yeah, everyone. Everyone's. Especially in the group stage. I mean, granted, the way they went out wasn't great, but it seems like, this has been a. A needed. A needed change.

Mark

Can I say one thing about the World cup that I really love?

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Expe. Especially now that they've expanded it for entertainment purposes. Not the fact that you get to let more teams in, it's the fact that you see better teams, elite teams play against dogshit teams. And when the games are close, it's incredibly exciting because there's a dog shit team that shouldn't be in it or have a fucking chance.

Alex

No team is dog shit. But I mean, you know what I mean?

Mark

This is like a wrong way to describe it, but, like, it's a team that's a severe underdog. But also, especially in the group stage, you got to see the stars behave like stars. So if you're a complete casual and you're like, you know, I've never seen Ronaldo actually play and you, like, see him scoring some goals, like, oh, this guy's nice. Or if you never. You've heard Holland and you're like, oh, I want to watch this guy.

Schultz

Hat trick. And then you tease off on someone. You're like, oh, this is great.

Mark

Literally, in the group stage, it was like all the stars showed up and had multiple goal games. You can't ask for anything better. And then you move out of the group stage. Some of the underdog teams go in as well. So now you're super excited. This is great. And then once you get into the knockout rounds, the games get a little more conservative. It feels like we were lucky, but, like, you have a little more of these, like, 00 games where they end in penalties. I imagine that's teams going, hey, we're not going to take as many chances is against this, this other team. We got to stay in the box. Is that kind of what the.

Schultz

Yeah. If you can. Depending on the team and the matchup, you can drag them to penalties.

Mark

It's not a bad move because penalties, all of a sudden, you're almost even again. Yeah.

Schultz

Finishes pressure. Who can deal with the pressure?

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

And if you're the underdog, you're like, dude, we made it this far. This is great.

Mark

So there's an argument to be made that they shouldn't let penalties decide the game.

Schultz

It's a heartbreaking.

Alex

I'm. It's a heartbreaking. I'm not a fan of that.

Mark

Tell me what your thoughts are.

Alex

It's like. Because I'm just used to our sports where it's like, hey, you play until there's a winner, but, like, you play the actual game, you're Playing penalty kicks is like. It just feels like a completely different game. It's like, hey, we're just guessing. It's not that much skill. Of course you have to get it on target, but still, it's not that much.

Schultz

But it's also so exciting. It's literally just like, hey, this game has gone so long, we played for two hours and we don't have a winner. So now it's just gonna come down to who can handle pressure psychologically the best.

Alex

I get that. But like tennis, for example, it's like this. They'll just keep going. Like the game could be there was the longest game ever, like five hours and 15 minutes. Imagine doing that and you're running the entire time for 5 hours and 15 minutes until somebody just, hey, I can't do it.

Mark

Let me make a pitch.

Alex

That's fine.

Mark

I think hockey does this, remove a player, open up a little bit more room.

Alex

Okay.

Mark

Because the issue obviously with soccer is that it's hard to score. So if you just keep on adding more overtimes, you might be there for five hours. Hours. And it's just exhausting. And like, you know, somebody's gonna get injured or whatever's gonna happen. I imagine that's the idea. Also TV time and all these things. All right, guys, take a break for a second. You know, it's funny, we order everything online. Groceries, clothes, electronics, food. When it's time to stock up for the weekend, people are still driving around hoping some random smoke shop has what they're looking for. Why? Okay, that's why. Everything420 app is the best solution for this last minute madness. Thinking in the future madness. Basically, Amazon for all your smoke sesh essentials. Instead of driving from shop to shop and settling for whatever happens to be behind the counter, you got everything in one place. Whether you're looking for gummies, flour, vapes, pre rolls, glass, rolling accessories, or just want to browse what's new. They've got it all organized into categories, so it's actually easy to find what you're looking for. They carry all major brands you already know and trust. They're always running deals, and everything ships straight to your door in discreet packaging. One of the coolest features is the mystery boxes. You pick a category. Edibles, vapes, glass, cartridges, whatever you're into. And they'll send you a surprise box with goodies worth way more than what you paid. It's a fun way to discover new products without having to guess. If you're going to spend spend your free time relaxing, don't spend half of it driving around looking for a smoke shop. Download everything 420 app or head to everything420.com and use code flagrant for 15% off. That's everything420.com yo, can we be honest? Dog food is one of those things that nobody questions. You just grab the bag, pour it in the bowl and assume it's good or even just edible. And then one day you actually read the ingredients and it's like you're studying for a chemistry final. Half of the words look like they belong in a battery, not your dog's body. That's why I like sundaes for dogs. It was created by veterinarian Dr. Tori Waxman because she wanted to feed dogs actual food, not mystery pellets. Sundae starts with 80% plus all natural meat and then adds real superfoods like kale, ginger and blueberries. No fillers, no weird chemical blends. Instead of blasting everything with high heat like regular kibble, it's gently air dried so it actually looks like real food. Almost like high quality jerky. And they just dropped a brand new fish recipe. It's made with 80% whole and minced fish, including eco friendly invasive carp sourced from American rivers. Turns out a lot of dogs naturally prefer fish, so if you got a picky eater, this might be the move. Plus it's loaded with Omega 3s to help support healthy skin, a shiny coat, joints and brain function. The best part. The best part. No fridge, no freezer, no prep. Just scoop it and serve it. So make the switch to Sundays. Go right now to sundaysfordogs.com flagrant and get 50% off your first order. Or you can use the code flagrant at checkout. That's 50% off your first order at sundaysfordogs.com flagrant now let's get back to the show. Tomorrow morning is knocking.

Alex

Stock your fridge now.

Mark

How about a creamy mocha frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel maybe? Or a white chocolate chip mocha. Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

Alex

The red card rule. Don't like that. I don't like that you're out the following game as well. I think you should be out the amount of time that was left in the game.

Mark

Oh, that's kind of fun.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Okay.

Alex

Cuz like to make a team have to lose a player. And especially actually like granted it was turned over, the call was reversed. But that was a bad call. Like we all Knew that was a bad call with the American player. Like, it wasn't a real red. Like you real reds is like, oh, he was intentionally trying to do that. And it's like he wasn't intentionally.

Schultz

To go from no foul to a red is a little tough, like a yellow. You get it?

Alex

And that's what I'm saying. I think that would be. That would be a better rule for red guards.

Mark

Yeah, there's something about that.

Alex

Now that it's our sport.

Mark

Yeah, let's fix it. Yeah, well, we got to fix it first.

Schultz

This is how the MLS used to settle games.

Mark

Nah, this is.

Schultz

Have you seen this?

Alex

No.

Mark

How is this received internationally?

Schultz

Terribly.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

So you get three touches, I'm pretty sure.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

I think you get three touches once you go,

Alex

oh. So they just run at it, but

Mark

the goalie is also allowed to come out, whereas in penalty kicks, the goalie can't come out. Yeah.

Schultz

It's like an Oklahoma drill. So you do a breakaway and you try to score on.

Alex

I kind of like that a little bit better because that's more. More. It's closer to the game.

Mark

Yeah, that's true.

Schultz

A little more.

Alex

I like this better. Yeah.

Schultz

So they would just run them down and try to chip it in.

Alex

Kind of crazy. Yeah.

Schultz

But they. They got rid of this pretty quickly.

Mark

Why? People didn't like it.

Schultz

Yeah. I think just like international soccer fans were like, this is absurd. This is interesting. Top comment here says this type of penalty wouldn't work in Europe because players would just chip it over the goalkeeper every time.

Alex

Yeah. I mean, the goalkeeper doesn't have to. To run up, but if they don't

Mark

run up, then they're cooked.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

But, yeah, there's a. Did you see the guy from Congo, the fan that would just stand there the whole time? You saw this? Yeah. The way you said it makes me think.

Alex

I think you did.

Mark

I did see it. He's wearing a suit, and he just has his hand in the air.

Schultz

Oh, yeah.

Mark

Luma. Or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alex

I haven't seen it.

Schultz

Pull it up.

Mark

Lumumba. Lumumba being racist right now.

Schultz

No. He would go to every game for Congo. Just stand. Stand there. Lumumba. And he would stand for 90 minutes.

Alex

Wow.

Schultz

In the suit. Just posted up fire. And he's dressed as the old Congolese president.

Alex

Did he say why he. He does it?

Schultz

I think just, like, morale. He's like a beloved, like, icon politically. In Congo, like, after they basically got rid of the Belgians, this guy was in charge and Then he got assassinated. Then they put in a pro Belgian prison president in the Congo.

Alex

Is that the guy?

Mark

Lumumba?

Schultz

That's who this is.

Alex

Lumumba is this.

Schultz

And then they put in Mabuto, I think.

Alex

Did you guys see that clip? Is that the guy in the clip? He's like, corruption is bad. Unless I'm a part of it.

Mark

Yeah, yeah. Love that take. Love that take. Hot take.

Alex

That's.

Schultz

I mean fire. It's kind. That's kind of what we're saying with this red card with. With Baligan. You know what I'm saying?

Mark

Yeah, I love that. I love that. FIFA said that Belgium has the right to appeal the call. And then they appealed it and they were like, nope.

Schultz

And then, dude, me and Sch are watching this live, bro.

Mark

Can you pause when you watch something that you know is going to be a meme or viral in real time? It's special.

Schultz

It's a joy, right?

Mark

It is a real joy. Cuz you know it's going to end up being a meme or it's going viral. Yeah. And you're getting to see it first.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Harry Kane, which for the record, I'm you letting legend. I didn't know this about Harry Kane. Married his high school sweetheart, been in the game 20 years. All time striker, all time leading goal scorer for England. Never had a scandal. Just like a great dude, like true

Mark

was kicked out of the Arsenal, like youth team. Kicked out of some other youth team. Like said he was never good enough.

Schultz

Made it work, became a legend. And then England wins. And this is his interview.

Mark

Ask you what's happened over there by the England goal because there looks to be some concern. Yeah, my voice is gone.

Alex

Hello?

Mark

Just over there. I think it's okay.

Alex

Just something.

Mark

Okay. Well, as for the performance, I think it says it all. The fact that your voice is gone, that was some contest to watch. What on earth was it like to play in. She knows. Yeah. It was a crazy game.

Alex

We had.

Mark

We had to fight. We had to fight. Have you seen that? Like that, that TV show or something in the Netherlands when the guy has the weird voice, he's entering him. He sounds just like this.

Schultz

No. Oh, is this where everyone laughs?

Mark

I think so.

Schultz

Everyone, like laughs uncontrollably. Let me see.

Mark

Doesn't matter. Not worth looking it up. Shout out the Scottish also.

Schultz

Oh yeah.

Mark

Shout out the Scottish. Scottish. We love you. We love you.

Alex

Why?

Mark

If God. If God created the Earth. If the earth is. Is. Is God's masterpiece. The Scottish are his finest detail. Alex.

Alex

What?

Mark

Why because they have no reason to be as joyful, happy, and, like, share as much joy and enthusiasm with life as they do. They have every reason to be upset. You know, they've had, you know, their freedom taken from them. They've been enslaved, but, you know, they've been colonized. They still have this incredibly, like, frustrated and angry relationship towards the English. They've had their natural resources sapped, and yet they still are positive, enthusiastic, loving people. They, like, bring joy wherever they go. Like, whenever Scottish people are in a place, there's nobody that is upset about it. I used to witness it every summer. My Scottish family would, like, come stay with us, and they'd basically babysit me for the summer. The exact thing that happened in Boston would happen in this little town in Fire Island.

Alex

This shit makes so much sense because

Mark

you kill it, dude.

Schultz

He hates the French.

Alex

I know.

Schultz

Smacked my car. Smacked my car.

Alex

You really love Mexicans.

Mark

They're the Scottish.

Alex

Are the Mexicans of the white?

Mark

No, they're the Mexicans of Europe for sure. And I feel the same way around Mexicans. It is like pure joy, enthusiasm, excitement, positivity about life hard as work. Like, if you're not hard working, you're just like, a pussy. They look down on you, but they have every reason to be upset, frustrated, angry. Like, just kind of, like, devolve into, like, victim mindset. And they don't. They just persevere, succeed, spread joy, drink, be merry, sing song, Mexican wherever they go. Mexican, Mexican. Is this.

Schultz

But they took it. Fenwick.

Alex

I wish I knew somebody's chants. They be.

Mark

It's fun. It just brought a tear to my eye watching them just become. Just come over and just being so loved, too. Like, the people of Boston. People of Boston are like, tough guys. This is not. They're not, like, you know, the most, like, cheerful, happy, go lucky. They're hilarious people. But they're not the type of people that will just, like, speak openly about their feelings. This is like a Catholic oppressive culture. And they were just like. I saw guys getting emotional. They're like, I think we need to bring them back or something. Maybe we need to, like. And it was just like, they gave. So they brought so much joy and excitement. And there was just this reminder that, like, life can be fun even when it sucks. Yeah. You can instill joy into horribly shitty situations. And, like, if that is the cultural export of the Scottish fucking, God bless them for.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

Because that's what they do. Yeah.

Schultz

They drink the whole city dry.

Mark

It was so cool.

Schultz

We went to Cheers bar. Yesterday for two pints, and we stayed for 21 of the guys they interviewed.

Mark

And, yeah, you know what's really cool about the World cup is, like, the rest of the world realizing they've been propagandized about America, you know, and, like, we're propagandized about America. Yeah. So, like, both two things happens at once. The rest of the world came here and they were like, wait, they're not all violent. It's just shooting people. And they're actually really welcoming. And they, they. They, like. Americans love it when you love our shit.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

And, like, love him or hate him, but, like, the Borat character. And I think he takes advantage of people who are being very kind. Sasha Baron Cohen. And it's. He's got a lot of hilarious shit, but at the end of the day, it's like he has taken advantage of kindness and, like, exploiting, avoiding people and making them look stupid. But, like, if you notice, kind of like wherever Borat goes or Ali G goes, like, he's saying wild shit, and the Americans are kind of like, oh, you kind of don't understand. What I'm trying to say is, it's like they're just giving you a chance. Doesn't matter where you're from. Like, giving you a fucking chance. Yeah.

Schultz

Complete foreigner comes into your town with a camera, and you're like, yeah, have dinner at our house.

Mark

Come stay over. And then he just makes you look like a racist.

Alex

But that's what I was going to say about people from Boston. I feel like they kind of got a bad rap, just like New Yorkers. You know how people think New Yorkers are rude or whatever. It's like, yo, we're the kindest, kindest, most love. I think the same about every time I've been to Boston. It's like, it's funniest. Comedians have the history of being a little racist. I've never seen it.

Mark

Yeah. I mean, look, I'm sure it exists, but I'm sure it's there. And I'm sure all these people coming over for the World cup, there's definitely Americans who are, like, nice because they know that they're leaving. There's other Americans. Like, we love visitors. Yeah. You're visiting. Right. But it was. It was really cool one to see these Europeans go like, wow. Like, there's really amazing things in America.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

And Americans. For a moment, I felt it myself, just being like, America is great. We are great people. We are kind and we are welcoming, we're loving. We want to see you Have a good time. And if you're having a good time enjoying our shit, we want to make sure it's the best.

Alex

Yep.

Mark

I think that, like, sometimes when you see, like, the. You see, like, Chinese tourism, where they come in a bus, they have a flag, they all kind of travel around like lemmings, and then they go, go back in. It's not as fun. You're not enjoying it with us. When you see a couple, like, random, like, Polish people in a bar, and they're like, oh, we're so excited to be here. Americans will just bring you into our group, and we'll make sure you have the best time. Yeah. And it was cool for them to wait.

Schultz

Dude, even being in France for, like, a week, like, my little baby would walk from the. Like, at the park and would walk to someone else's, like, little picnic, and they wouldn't talk to him.

Mark

Like, really?

Schultz

And it's not that they're being rude. It's that there's a social norm.

Mark

Their social norm is rude. It's that they developed it for centuries.

Schultz

We're not gonna just, like, randomly talk to someone like that. Like, hey, we, like, where's the parents? Like, my. My mom would say, when we were living in France, other parents wouldn't hang out. Like, they wouldn't let their kids hang out with my parents, kids like my siblings, unless they met the parents. So, like, my brothers would try to hang out with other French kids. Be like, hey, you want to come over? And they'd be like. Like, no. And it sounds rude, but the. The cultural norm is, like, the parents

Mark

have to meet each other, and then they can.

Schultz

And then they can go. And everyone knows the rules, so it's fine.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

But then when an outsider comes in without knowing the rules, all of a sudden there's tension. A little different. Whereas in America, there's, like, not really any rules. Like, it's just, like.

Alex

It's just how they treat the guy.

Mark

Everybody.

Alex

There's always the weird family on the block. Like, do not go to that.

Schultz

You got to meet the parents. Oh, your dad's out of town.

Mark

I guess.

Schultz

Never happened.

Mark

No, that is. But no, the French are. The French are interesting because they have. They have literally refined to perfection the pleasantries of life. Yeah. Like, any indulgence, smell, taste, experience. They've the catacombs, like a cemetery.

Schultz

Millions of people died, and they're like, we're going to make it beautiful. We're going to make it nice.

Mark

That is. That is their gift to the world. And we all Benefit from that, right? Benefit from it. In Food Gardens of Versailles, you walk

Schultz

around there and you're like, oh, dude, they snapped on this.

Mark

They snapped.

Schultz

I went. When I was a kid, and I was like, all right, it's a garden. No. But then you go other places in the world, you're like, oh, these gardens are fine.

Mark

And they snap to snap. The whole thing was a hustle. They were broke. They had. Did you hear the story about, like, there was a time where they were so broke they couldn't keep all the fountains going on at the same time.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

But the hustle was. Being French at that time was looked at as, like. Especially like the. The. The monarchy was looked at as, like, the most elite human experience. So that they would have these, like, leaders from all around the world that would just come to say hi to Louis V or whoever was 14th. 14th. The Sun King or whatever.

Schultz

The 16th was the Sun King.

Mark

Okay, whatever which one it was. They would just come and say hi. But they were broke. But they knew they had to keep on the charade. Keep up the charade. So when you would walk the gardens, the second you moved out of one fountain, they would turn that off and

Schultz

turn on the next one.

Mark

So they were running like a. Like a Ponzi scheme.

Schultz

The first people like Lisa Urus, you know what I mean? They were like the first with, like, the. The pink Urus, you know, but they

Mark

figured out, like, food is. They figured all these things out. With that, though, comes a, like, elitism or arrogance that is off putting that, like, the Italians don't have.

Schultz

Right.

Mark

Italians have this, like, rich food culture. Southern Italians, that is. Well, the northern Italians are German, nobody wants to admit, but they are. It's like you Lear a bus stop away from Germany, you're. But, like, you could let your kid just walk around in a random town in Italy, and they will. That's their kid. That day, there was.

Schultz

There was one group of ladies that picked up my baby, and they were like, look how cute he is. And I was like, oh, see, not all French people. Spanish.

Mark

Spanish, too.

Schultz

Yeah, yeah, they were Spanish and they loved them. But there's just, like, rules. There's just, like, unwritten rules. Like, my dad had a funny story.

Mark

He.

Schultz

When they first moved to France, he walked up to a guy at a grocery store and goes, excuse me, where's the. The bread aisle? And the guy just looks at me, goes. We say hello first. Oh. And it is kind of an unwritten rule that when you walk up to someone, you say hello. And in America, we don't really think about it. You just kind of go up to a guy like, hey, excuse me. Because everyone's kind of in a rush, but there it's like. And my dad's explanation was, like, during the monarchy times, everything was, like, very hierarchical.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

And so. So you had to treat everyone with respect because the people that were lower didn't want to feel like they were lower. So they all upheld a standard. They were like, no, no, you have to respect me. It's all about, like, look me in the eye, say hello.

Alex

They really didn't fuck with the gag.

Schultz

French Canadians going over there being like, hey, what's up?

Alex

Get motherfuckers out of here, bro.

Mark

Nah, that shit is.

Alex

That was disrespectful. He should have slapped him. What?

Schultz

That is what my dad said. I wonder.

Mark

I wonder if you could track, like, how sexy a culture is by how much of is left of it in the colonized places. Okay, so, like, if you go to, like, parts of, like, northern Africa where the French colonize, you see remnants of, like, French aesthetic.

Schultz

Okay.

Mark

You see, like, cultural affects. Like, there's obviously, like, language there, but language is a different thing. I'm talking about, like, how people exist in space Face. Like, if the culture that colonize you is super sexy, even though you're like, you. You guys are colonizers, but you're like, n. This perfume's kind of fire and, like, making look beautiful. Like, we like the aesthetic, and we're going to keep some of that kind of stuff. Whereas, like, I don't know, if you go to Nigeria and you see, like, remnants of British culture. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't know if they're like, yeah, we want to look British. Maybe they. Maybe we do. I don't know. Yeah.

Alex

Do you part of them still speak English? So that's what I'm saying.

Mark

Language. Language is different because once you make their language a little illegal, they feel more comfortable.

Schultz

Like, Nigerians aren't eating, like, beans on toast.

Alex

Yeah. You know, I don't even think English people eat. Like, I think they just keep it on the menu just because. But they don't even.

Mark

They love that. The start of the movie Blood Sausage, and he was talking about it, and he was like. He was, like, euphoric talking about it. Oh, you put the Vegemite, but it's not Vegemite. It's whatever their Vegemite is.

Alex

This.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

I don't know what it's called, but this. You put a little of that and then the beans, you let it soak and, like, it's like he's describing prison food. I'm speaking of Brooks from Shaw Redemption. Like, what the is happening right now?

Alex

I think that's the worst breakfast in the world.

Mark

Yo.

Alex

Here's the thing. I can't think of a worse breakfast.

Mark

Yeah, this is something that.

Schultz

The beans are kind of fire.

Mark

I like.

Schultz

I do like the beans.

Alex

They blend.

Mark

It's not.

Schultz

It's not the best. It's not the best.

Mark

It's not good.

Schultz

It's like they open the can.

Mark

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Schultz

Bushes, bushes. Baked beans.

Mark

Nah, those are fire.

Schultz

I didn't realize they have sugar in them.

Mark

Chill, chill. Of course it's American.

Schultz

I was, you know, I was like, babe, why are these so good? She. It's full of sugar. I was like, no, it's beans. Beans aren't. Beans don't have sugar. It's protein. America got you.

Mark

America got you good.

Schultz

Try that.

Mark

British. We're like, he's missing a very key ingredient. We turn it into Kool Aid. Yo, how we turn beans in a Kool Aid, bro?

Schultz

Put a slice of pineapple in there.

Alex

Let.

Mark

Yeah, another great World cup story. This is real quick about Britain, though. Britain does British dessert. You can on British food all you want, okay? British like dessert.

Alex

What's one of that?

Mark

All those baked goods, pies, the shortbreads, all that kind of. They're nasty when it comes to desserts.

Alex

I'll give you the short. The shortbread, but what else?

Schultz

Yeah, it's not touching.

Mark

Have you not watched Bake Off? French are the best.

Alex

Too close to France. They even care about them.

Schultz

France.

Mark

France is the best.

Schultz

Best.

Mark

That's what I'm saying. There's got to be a best. Yeah, the French are the best. Number two is British, bro. No, you tell me. You tell me a number two.

Alex

Son, Latin America has delicious.

Schultz

Yeah, even just like a churro.

Alex

Even Asians got kind of fire.

Schultz

Sesame ice creams.

Mark

Snot on ice cream. Mochi, whatever that is. Sticky mango rice. No sticky mango. Come on, son. I forgot about. I forgot about. You can't use. You can't use your main ingredient for the whole meal and in dessert. No, that's definitionally poverty. That's definitionally poverty. If rice is what you're giving me for the appetizer, the main shit and dessert, you're poor.

Schultz

No, no, no.

Alex

I mean, it could be poor, but make the shit fired. Like, if it's slaps, it slaps.

Mark

British put beans in the dessert.

Schultz

Oh, they're so good with sugar.

Mark

The Japanese try to do that shit. Nasty.

Schultz

Oh, the red beans.

Mark

Bean paste. Keep your paste, keep your paste. We're not doing it.

Schultz

That sucks.

Mark

No, the French are number one when it comes to pastries, all that kind of course. But Italians can't do dessert.

Schultz

No. Tiramisu. Isn't that Italian?

Mark

Yeah, here's the thing with the Italian. That's Italian. Gelato's Italian. Yeah, yeah. Gelato, gelato. What are we talking about here? It's like, it's like, it's so great at ice cream. I love the Italians. I love them. When it comes to dessert.

Schultz

Cannoli.

Mark

It's French.

Schultz

No, of course we're green.

Alex

Canoli's are overrated. So they.

Mark

It's whack. Yeah. Like it's cool.

Alex

And I hate when somebody brings that shit to the party.

Mark

I'm like, come on. I want Italians, I want Italians to have everything better than French because I love them so much. But we have to call it like it is. Like if you're not going to cook with butter, you can't make dessert.

Alex

Get it out of here.

Mark

Olive oil is not going to make good dessert.

Schultz

But what about the English though? You're saying English is number two. Still haven't heard a good English dessert yet.

Alex

English dessert.

Mark

Go look up best English dessert. Do you watch British Bake Off? It's not called Italian Bake Off. It's not called Portuguese Bake Off. It's not called Puerto Rican Bake Off.

Alex

Just shortbread cookies off. RIP is delicious.

Mark

Now they got all the pie. They have a million dessert. Sticky toffee pudding. Oh my God. Oh, who's got banana pudding? An apple crumbles. An apple crumble. That's America. Oh, yeah, America.

Alex

How you leaving us out?

Mark

Yeah, we owe the best mad dessert.

Schultz

No, America's obviously the best.

Mark

No, no, America's obviously the best. Let me, let me. Who even thinks of that? Let me back up, let me back up. Can I back up? Can I, Let me back up. French are number one. America is number one. B. Okay, but let me clarify this. This, this needs clarification, okay?

Alex

Cuz it's not refined.

Mark

It. But, but, but it's better. Our ghetto desserts. No, nobody that I ghetto dessert. A brownie that's been on a shelf for two years with a scoop of ice. Oh, we're talking my language, Little Debbie. Ghetto dessert. Our non refined dessert. Don't give me a refined American dessert. We don't want it.

Schultz

You ever made puppy Chow.

Mark

Oh puppy chow rule. Oh no, no. I do know what.

Schultz

You take a Chex mix, you get some chocolate, you mix it in a trash bag. Eat it out the trash.

Mark

Incredible.

Schultz

That is incredible.

Mark

Yo Rice Krispy treat. Europe is not with a Rice Krispie treat.

Schultz

No, I don't think they can handle it.

Mark

They can't crackle or yo. Facts give me British. But British might just be one.

Alex

Oh the Victoria might just be one with desserts.

Mark

No, the sponge cake is the Victoria sponge. It's a cake. It's just a cake. The banoffee pie. Come on son. Go down. Go down.

Alex

That's all thinking about we might be

Mark

who may rest red velvet.

Alex

We're number we did. I'm claiming that cuz it's cream cheese on it.

Mark

That's us.

Alex

Cream cheese is us.

Schultz

Right? I'm. I'm gonna see where it came from.

Mark

Isn't red velvet just chocolate and red color? Yo yo yo. Cream cheese frosted don't ruin it. But the color don't ruin it.

Schultz

It's unknown where it started but southern United States in the early 20th century.

Mark

Yes.

Alex

Come on. Sorry. Part of my left. Part of my left.

Mark

Love you Damn.

Alex

But yeah.

Mark

We kind of got dessert.

Alex

We got. I think we it the best. I we did.

Mark

You're right. I'm going to give you your right to dessert.

Alex

We took pizza. Made it better. Pizza here is better than pizza in Italy.

Mark

I'm going to be honest with you on that one. I'm going to be dead serious. 100% honesty.

Alex

Not Napoleon. Whatever their pizza.

Mark

Pizza there. I'm just being flat honest with you. Is better.

Alex

Stop it. Stop it. Where'd you go in Italy you're doing the refined.

Schultz

No, no.

Mark

That's the floppy street pizz. Napoleon Pizza.

Alex

Come on. Nobody wants that Napoleon.

Mark

What is it called? What is it called? It might be but I know in your head you just imagine some short guy making Neapolitan. Neapolitan.

Schultz

Have you seen how the how the Europeans are dealing.

Alex

Pick it up.

Schultz

You got to eat it with a. They're selling ranch at the airport now.

Mark

They love because we put them on ranch.

Alex

Come on.

Schultz

Apparently TSA put out a statement saying you can't bring ranch on the plane. Stop putting in your your carry on.

Alex

Really.

Schultz

Because all the Europeans were taking ranch.

Mark

Can I tell you something? Condiments. Not sauces. Sauces. Unfortunately you're probably going to have to go Asian. Asia.

Alex

Got to go Asia.

Mark

You have to go Asia.

Schultz

You kind of. Curry is a sauce.

Mark

Curry is a sauce to Me.

Alex

That's a soup.

Mark

All the glaze, all, like, the Thai glazes, all that. Whatever that is. Peanut sauce. They got it, bro. They got it. I know. Condiments is not. They don't even have Heinz in Europe, bro. Yeah, sad. They don't even have Heinz.

Alex

But we American.

Mark

What the hell is going on over there?

Schultz

What are they dipping?

Mark

You got no ac, you got no ice in a Coke, and you got no Heinz. How I'm supposed to have a hamburger in peace?

Schultz

They don't even really know how to do that.

Alex

Yeah, put mayo.

Schultz

They put mayo.

Alex

And it's not even the good mayo, too.

Schultz

They.

Mark

Their mayo is too gelatinous.

Schultz

Yeah. Yeah.

Mark

They got to turn it into Ioli because their regular mayo sucks. Our regular mayo starts as Ioli. We don't even have. Why would you have mayo when you could start with Ioli?

Schultz

That's good point.

Alex

Come on.

Mark

That's good point.

Schultz

I'm with you.

Mark

Cut out the middleman. Get some AC. Mark said 40,000 Frenchmen died during the heat wave that they blamed on America because of no AC Y. You need air conditioning, Guys need ice. You need ice.

Schultz

The Green Party of France is like, the most ecologically friendly party. They came out with an official statement and say, you know what, guys? We approve of ac. Send shock waves to the French.

Alex

Really? Okay.

Schultz

They couldn't believe it. But finally they were like, yeah, we're going to do AC.

Mark

When we clarify when we say AC, it's 72 and below. 72 degrees and below.

Alex

You're even a little high with that one. But I'll. I'll let you rock.

Mark

I know Zoro was saying, keep it at 78.

Alex

He's. He's.

Mark

This is. This is America.

Alex

He was feeling a little too good. Nick's at 5. He was like, off the high. He's like, oh, we don't need it. But he was wilding.

Mark

I put my shit 64. Just despite to him even suggesting such a thing, our AC blew out.

Schultz

It was cold for a little bit.

Mark

It was cold.

Schultz

A little bit.

Mark

Blew the out. Yeah. So maybe it was right. But. But there's no. We're not doing the restrictions on AC in America.

Alex

We don't do that.

Mark

What's the point?

Schultz

No, you got to turn off time square first.

Mark

Turn it off.

Schultz

Turn off. Turn off the billboard, and then I'll turn off the ac.

Mark

Yo, can you keep. Can you keep going?

Schultz

Why does Coca Cola get to run all their. And I got to be hot? That just seems crazy to me. You're Asking me to cut my AC off.

Alex

He's back.

Schultz

Let's just. Let's just. Let's do order of operations, Cook. Order of operations. That's all I'm saying.

Alex

I like this, right?

Schultz

Keep.

Mark

Keep going on this. Because this is what I like. Because I had an emotional reaction and you got some logical facts behind it.

Schultz

Okay?

Mark

Keep going on this one. What else should we turn off?

Schultz

Gracie Mansion.

Mark

That shit gotta be. We got.

Schultz

We gotta make that 75 degrees. You know what I mean?

Mark

78, maybe 80.

Schultz

And then office buildings. Goldman Sachs. But bump it up and then you work your way all the way down. I think we need a. I think we need an official order. And you put on a billboard with lights and you go, oh, we're in this zone right here. Time square turn.

Mark

I need to know that the, the whole city hall or whatever it is at 78 before my baby's cooking.

Schultz

Exactly.

Mark

My baby doesn't need to cook.

Schultz

Turn it off.

Mark

Cuz I've been paying my AC bill every month.

Schultz

Turn it off.

Mark

Not doing the subway.

Alex

Not doing the subway.

Schultz

Street lights in a dark alleyway.

Mark

Turn them off. Turn them off. Turn it off.

Schultz

Exactly.

Mark

Snatching.

Schultz

Grab the icu. They're going to die anyway. Turn it off.

Mark

Turn it off.

Schultz

I'm not going to sweat. He's 80 years old, getting a kidney replacement, bro.

Mark

We got kids.

Schultz

Yeah. My kid's gonna live so long. It's like your red card rule. Not gonna take years on my kids Life. This guy's 82, smoking, trying to get a kidney transplant.

Mark

I like that. Turn off Times Square, bro.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

It'd be also so cool if it was all blacked out to see it, right? Yeah. I mean, I don't know about that,

Schultz

but yeah, that'd be awesome.

Mark

All I'm saying is this is America. We don't fight throttle. Real throttle. Air conditioning. There's not. We're not. We're not going to have this life of abundance here and then start throttling air conditioning.

Schultz

Exactly.

Mark

We're not going to do two ice cubes in your Coca Cola because we're going to run out of ice.

Schultz

Turn on those wind fans, make more wind. Cool us down.

Alex

That's what I'm talking about.

Schultz

Exactly. Out in the fields with the giant things.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Yeah.

Alex

I like that.

Schultz

Right?

Alex

I like this.

Schultz

Am I crazy?

Mark

Mark is back. Mark is back.

Alex

He's back.

Mark

All he has to do is go to Europe for two weeks. And he realized how amazing America is.

Schultz

My God. Nothing feels better than going back after you've Been in Europe for a while and you go into like the. The customs line and the guy stamps your welcome back.

Mark

Welcome back, bro. I72.

Schultz

I feel like I was on the Iwo Jima. I came home, I was like, yo, I. I was so excited. They make that fire too. You see the giant American flag, you're like, God, this is awesome.

Mark

It's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. That's what the whole world got to witness during the World Cup.

Schultz

And this guy came over from Cape ver. They got 28 million followers. He started the tournament with 50,000 sh.

Mark

Bo. And I think he got a deal, right?

Schultz

Oh, yeah.

Mark

Did he get a contract somewhere?

Schultz

I think they're looking at it, but I mean, he's also 40, so I don't know exactly what he can do.

Mark

Sign him.

Schultz

Sign him to the Knicks 10 day.

Alex

Not to be, not to be a hater, but if you're a player, they probably just running it up, right? Buying some. That's a large jump.

Mark

No, he was a trending sale. He was a 20 trending story, bro.

Schultz

Yeah, he was. He was all over.

Mark

I mean, it's a huge training story.

Schultz

10 million likes on this. 440, 000 comments.

Mark

Great trending story out. It was big.

Schultz

Also, you asked me if I could change.

Alex

People do like.

Mark

Yes. If you could change the rule in

Schultz

soccer, when they do the pregame photo, we got to stop with a stance.

Mark

This is. This is what happens when you let Europeans decide the rules.

Alex

You talk about when they announce that

Mark

the players, they're all like, no, no,

Schultz

that part is swaggy.

Mark

When they're just getting their colons pushed in by the back line.

Schultz

Like, they always bend down, like awkwardly right in front of the back, up the back, take a knee or something, Right? Like crouch. I think a crouch could work, but

Mark

that's not a rule. What's a rule you would change in soccer?

Schultz

There's got to be a way to penalize flopping. Like flopping. It's just the worst part of the game. And like, I get why they do it. Like, there's a benefit. You flop, you get a penalty, you score. Like, it changes the entire trajectory of the tournament. But there's just got to be a way to enforce it better. Like if you get caught diving, media yellow card.

Mark

Yeah, that'd be sick.

Alex

I thought they were trying to do that this tournament. Somebody yell they've done a little bit

Schultz

and let the record show. Also, a lot of times when these guys grab their shins, that hurts.

Alex

Stop it.

Mark

No, no, no, Mark, got a good point.

Schultz

Let's say you're walking through your. Your bedroom. It's dark, no lights, because the AC and everything's turned off to conserve energy.

Alex

I know, exactly.

Schultz

Smack your shin directly into a table.

Alex

Yes. I go, ow.

Mark

I don't roll around like this for hours.

Schultz

Rolling around your left foot, you put it on there and you go, damn. And then your girl is you. Okay.

Mark

And you go, shut the up.

Schultz

Yeah. And then you. And then you take a minute and then you're good.

Alex

But you're not rolling around on the floor like a little bitch. And then once they give you the call you want, then you start smiling and jump right up. All of a sudden I'm good now

Mark

they got no ac, bro.

Schultz

They have no AC

Mark

from and spike ball. Yeah, bro. Hey, a game you lost a game you lost in spike ball. You are an athlete. Starting forward for United. Yeah.

Schultz

What jersey?

Alex

I'm a good number. 9 bro.

Mark

69 does that. What is the idea of it? Just limiting your upward motion of the wrist.

Alex

Yeah. And it gets me to stop doing stuff with it cuz I keep getting injured and then I keep doing.

Mark

You never got tennis elbow at all?

Alex

Yeah. When I first started playing.

Mark

Did it affect you more on this side or this side?

Alex

The outside.

Mark

Interesting.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

My me up in here.

Alex

Oh really?

Mark

And I was like, how is that tennis elbow? And they're like, it's the same.

Alex

You're probably just trying to muscle it through or something.

Mark

100% 0 body weight, 0 talent or skill or nothing at all. It's embarrassing.

Alex

You've been playing paddle. I haven't seen you still getting out there.

Mark

No, I did. I played this past couple weekend, but I didn't play. I didn't play when we were out in LA doing the movie. You're just there the whole day and

Alex

I was getting up on stage.

Mark

I got stage on the weekends.

Alex

Oh, okay.

Schultz

Okay. It must have been so nice.

Mark

Yeah, it was sick. Yeah, it was really.

Schultz

Being locked in a movie set for 8 hours a day, 12 hours a day, and then being able to go

Mark

and like be with people, that is the. The balance that I. That I didn't do when I was in Australia. That there's part of me that wish I did, but there's of lot a also like you got to spend time with the family. I'm bringing my family out to LA and you're basically at the movie from 7 in the morning until like 7 at night and then an hour ride home. So I'm like, okay. So I Don't see them at all.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

So come the weekend, I'm like, I'm not about to be like, hey guys, I'm going to go play paddle for three hours.

Alex

Gotcha.

Mark

You know, we're going to go to the farmer's market or whatever the nice. What is a farmer's market? Really? Besides the same thing over and over again in every booth?

Schultz

Yeah, it's just like kind of white people feeling like they're in a village.

Mark

Is that the idea? Is it like a cosplay of like,

Schultz

it's like Medieval times for moms.

Mark

Yes.

Schultz

Yeah, I think that's kind of what it is.

Mark

It's like, oh, we're like, so, you know, I'm foraging.

Schultz

We're so quaint.

Mark

Yes.

Schultz

We're like, we're here. We have a basket.

Mark

Yes.

Schultz

Yeah. These blueberries came all the way from a grocery store and they brought them here. Like, how did they do that?

Mark

They don't even take off the Driscoll.

Schultz

That's all she's saying.

Mark

It says Driscoll on it. We could get these at Whole food product of Guatemala.

Schultz

I'm like, that's not farm. That's. That's over there.

Mark

I'm like, what? What are we doing?

Schultz

Really?

Alex

They really doing that at the farmers market? I saw people growing their shit.

Mark

They be saying it. But like, when you think the guys

Schultz

at Canal street are selling Gucci, bro, this is. This whole thing is.

Mark

Don't fall for it, bro. Yeah, Some fugas don't go to the farmers market.

Alex

I never went.

Schultz

It's good for the vibe. You kind of get to go. You get a free sample. You smell lavender soap.

Mark

It's also guilt free snacks. Like when you buy a cookie or something at the farmer's market, it doesn't feel.

Schultz

Because they put in like a brown paper. You know what I mean? When it's in brown PA paper, you're like, dude, this is from the earth. Came off a tree. Plastic.

Mark

That feels like very disgusting. Yeah, dude.

Schultz

But a nice preservatives cookie and a

Mark

brown paper or a fresh peach. They say it's a fresh peach. Yeah, the ants on that still you be like, oh, this came from the earth.

Schultz

Yeah, exactly.

Mark

Came right from the earth. You also trick yourself into thinking it tastes different than any other peach you had in your entire life.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Why are we hating, bro? We gotta be positive.

Schultz

Yeah, we gotta be positive. I love farmers.

Alex

You don't have a farm. You seem like the type that puts some on your roof and yeah, that

Schultz

takes a long time I got some trees. I gotta. I got a hydrangea.

Alex

Okay. I got a tree.

Schultz

It tipped over.

Alex

I don't know what that tree it is.

Mark

Oh, from that wind?

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

You got a hydrangea?

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Aren't they beautiful? I used to have a hydrangea and game over.

Schultz

Now I have, like, a stick. Got, like, a. There's a pot with a stick sticking it because it used to be a hydrangea that tipped over and then it all died.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

Kind of a bummer.

Mark

You need. Yeah. Maybe you need, like, a more firm place for it.

Schultz

Something. I don't know, but this is a lot of upkeep. Yeah. Trying to tend to a garden.

Alex

It's. Oh, yeah. Was your wife.

Schultz

I got a kid. I know the wife, but she's got a kid. She has her own thing. She's got to grow. You know what I mean? She's growing, this child.

Alex

Yo, they got it easy.

Mark

Yo, son, don't tell me jokes.

Alex

Jokes. Nah, they gotta. It's the hardest job in the world.

Mark

Yes, that is hard.

Alex

But I'm just saying, back in the day, they used to do a little bit more.

Mark

You get why? You get why, like, the feminist movement happened. All guys really had to say was, yo, it's hard what y' all are doing while we're at work. That's all we had to say. And we didn't say that. And then they were like, well, we're gonna work now. And then they started going to work, and they were like, yo, this shit kind of easier than raising the kids, because it is.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

All we had to be like is, yo, you guys got the hard job, and we couldn't do that even now. That is hard.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

But it's. That is. I'm not saying this at all to pander. I mean it genuinely that. Because there's not a moment where you can't pay attention.

Schultz

Yeah. I've never had to, like, do stand up and at the same time.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

You know what I mean? Like, I can leave that part of the job and then go take a.

Mark

And they're just trying to kill themselves almost constantly.

Schultz

Yeah. Yeah.

Mark

Mark's parenting style is interesting because the kids were. We're out of the Hamptons, Right. So the kids are, like, hanging out together. So he came out with his wife and the kids, so his kid is, like, how much Six months younger than Shiloh. And, like, I'm always feeling bad. I don't want Shiloh to like, anybody up. So, like, Shallow will go grab his kid, and then, like, I'll be like, shiloh, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. We got to be gentle. We got to be gentle.

Alex

He's rough with this motherfucker.

Mark

But Mark goes, marcos, you know what? I kind of just let them figure it out. And if they figure it out, you know, it'll be like. I was like, word, yeah. He's like, yeah, yeah. Shiloh just slammed his head on the corner of a table. Dunk that shit.

Alex

You gotta learn.

Mark

And then Mark is like, he'll just come to me. And he's like, Walks over to Mark. Chill. Back to partying. Yeah. So maybe that is a good strategy. Maybe next time.

Schultz

I don't know if you notice, your daughter tried to grab and he. He kind of ducked. He kind of.

Mark

He bobbed a little.

Schultz

Oh, he learned. He learned. He kind of like, he's moving. He's been doing jump rope. He's been. He's been dialed in. But like, they get fucked up and then they kind of. They. They get a little bit less.

Mark

That is, I'll be honest, the coolest thing in life.

Alex

But it's probably easy to do it with a boy.

Mark

Yeah.

Alex

You think that changes anything?

Schultz

Maybe. I can't say 100%. Sorry, I only got one of them.

Mark

100. I'm way less delicate with my boy.

Schultz

But is that cuz he's a boy or because he's a second child?

Mark

He's a boy, second child. There's other things. 100% second child. There's way different number. But like, definitely with boy, you're like, ah, he could get some scars. Yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, that's character on a dude. A scar. That's a good point, you know? Yeah, yeah. You got a story to tell.

Alex

You gotta toughen them up a little bit.

Mark

A girl got a scar, she gotta get a real job. You know what I mean? Like, join the circus or something. I don't even know. I know what you gotta do. I don't even know because they don't

Schultz

see him that much. They gotta do something.

Mark

I don't know where they go.

Schultz

Yeah, that is a good point. I was thinking about. This is a double standard because, like, as men get older, we become weathered, and it's almost like a compliment. Like, oh, he's a weathered man. Yes. You know what I mean? But if you describe a woman as a weathered.

Mark

Go inside you in all this weather

Schultz

for girl, get an umbrella immediately. Why are you weathered?

Mark

But it is the most fire shit to like. I mean, you're. You're obviously much younger than me, but, like, to hang out with your friends and have your kids be hanging out with each other. That is a really cool thing.

Schultz

Yeah, it's awesome.

Mark

Like, you think you've made it? Like, I, like. I was just, like, sitting there at the party. I'm, like, watching friends that I went to college with and their children hanging around with mine, and their kids are, like, kind of, like, babysitting mine and playing with that, and it was just like. Yeah.

Alex

Yeah. Thank you for having us over.

Mark

That was, of course, a wonderful time.

Alex

Always a great time, man.

Mark

That's true. That's true. I'm glad I wasn't. The sickness this time just, like, almost passed away. Yeah. I was trying to get jacked, and I got some protein powder from our boy and that she was poisoning me for, like, three weeks out of the summer.

Alex

That's what.

Mark

Yeah, I got off the protein power. I stopped having diarrhea.

Schultz

You got a research chemical. He got the Chinese, like, peptide.

Alex

You just always just go and be that forever.

Mark

He's all right. He's fda.

Alex

Yeah, it's not too bad.

Mark

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like a Monsanto, right? You're not gonna get all the nutrients, but it's gonna get you behind. Right? I can accept that. Exactly.

Schultz

Bro, have you ever seen this video of when women first went into Australian bars?

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

You've seen this? Yeah, I don't.

Mark

All right. They were acting like speed was at the Argentina game.

Alex

Yeah, I got the same algorithm. How you see it the same here.

Mark

Sir, do you object to people like me walking in and having a drink here amongst you? Well, it's not the objection, but I

Schultz

think for myself that the.

Mark

The place for women is the. The saloon bar or the lounge.

Alex

Why?

Mark

What's wrong with us? We're not doing you any harm in here.

Alex

Well, I mean, if I want to

Mark

talk or swear or something like that, and there's a woman standing behind me.

Alex

You can't, can you?

Mark

You think women are going to be shocked by your language? That's why you don't want them in here, is it?

Schultz

Well.

Mark

Well, let me put it this way. We put a restraint on ourselves. You're afraid of women.

Schultz

This guy going to a bar, being hammered, having an argument with somebody so funny. He's like, no one's gonna ever see this.

Mark

Isn't this kind of, like, good?

Schultz

What?

Mark

They're basically going like, hey, we want to be respectful when we're around you. And we don't feel like we can be respectful.

Schultz

Respectful.

Mark

If you're.

Schultz

No, sorry.

Mark

And we don't feel like we can just let loose when we're here, you know, we're not coming here just to drink. We're coming here to let loose, and we can't do that if you're here. I think that's. I don't know. I'd like. I think this was supposed to be, like, some expose about, like, how sexist men are, and they just found out they really respect women.

Schultz

Isn't that what all them are saying?

Mark

I just want to say curse words, and I feel bad saying it in front of you. It's like having kids around, you're like.

Alex

But it's probably during, like, feminist movement where they're like, hey, we want to be true, treated equal. So, yeah, treat us the same way. So curse in front of us is not gonna make us feel away. That's. Seems like she got the haircut that matches that, baby.

Mark

Yeah, I think she could hang.

Schultz

Yeah. Would that. Would that fit?

Mark

McSorley's didn't let women in until the 70s. Yeah. Oh, that's right.

Schultz

It's kind of crazy. The 70s is so late.

Mark

Yeah, right. I start to realize why guys go to the bar, huh? It's got nothing to do with alcohol. Yeah. You just want to let loose, you know?

Schultz

And C's with your boys, you know,

Alex

now we just have the barber shop. That's it.

Schultz

That's the last place for now. So that haircut walks in there.

Mark

Studs up in there, though. Yeah.

Alex

They men, though.

Mark

You. You that, like, you're not changing nothing around a stud.

Alex

Nothing.

Mark

They probably appreciate that.

Alex

Yeah, that's probably respectful.

Schultz

That's extremely respectful.

Alex

They don't like when you treat them like a woman.

Mark

Yo. But then what's the difference between stud and trans? Why haven't the studs going, like, yo, no, I'm trans. They. It's like, they're trans. Stud.

Schultz

Yeah, it's like its own gender.

Mark

It's its own gender. Yeah. Isn't that interesting?

Alex

It's a good one.

Schultz

They're just like, I'm a woman.

Mark

I have a vagina, but I'm a stud.

Alex

I'm a stud.

Mark

Yeah, but I'm like, the more masculine version of that.

Schultz

Yeah, that's fire.

Mark

I think kind of nice. Studs are kind of like, running up the Internet right now. I'm seeing a lot of stud content. Have you not seen this? Like, was leaning in.

Schultz

What if.

Mark

What if we just have a jersey that you put on when you're about to say something and you're like, that's what Someone from this country. Now, we don't blame it on Alex. We just blame it on the team you're supporting.

Alex

Oh, that's good.

Mark

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Alex

Order up.

Mark

You know the best part about this spicy Italian sausage? I voted for this topping.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Just another perk of being a member. Come join us, Sam's Club. You know what's lovely about the World cup is that you get to be proud of your country without having to deal with any of the government. You know what I mean? Like, nobody ever is. Like, seeing these teams come out and wave their flag, they're like, well, but I can't believe. But you can be proud of your country that's doing all this. They're like, no, no, no. I'm just proud of this football team. It's like, no, you're not. You're proud of your country, but the football team gives you this thing that you can celebrate your country for.

Alex

Israel wasn't playing.

Schultz

No.

Alex

Are you sure?

Mark

I thought Argentina made it into the round of eight.

Schultz

People find any type of way. I saw. I saw lacrosse game. I saw, like a. Like, a D League lacrosse game. It was like, America versus Israel, and it was like 10 nothing. And all the comments were just like. Yeah. I was like, lacrosse.

Alex

Yeah. I was doing that in the group chat. Argentina wins and somehow it's Israel's fault.

Mark

I'm like, how the is. Yo.

Schultz

Don't say.

Mark

Y' all just say David Sanchez.

Alex

He was mad.

Schultz

He was mad.

Mark

Well, immediately after Argentina. What? FA showed a picture of Messi kissing the wall.

Alex

I'm like, how these two things relate?

Schultz

No, there's a greater power of play.

Mark

Who you guys rooting for now? Like, who do you think's going to win the whole thing?

Alex

Friends? Spain. Got it.

Schultz

Yeah.

Alex

Light work.

Mark

France?

Schultz

Not even close.

Alex

Lamine Lamar, he's pretty good.

Schultz

Yeah, he's nice. I mean, who are you going to support now? Mexico's out. I know. That was your team. USA is out. Bummer. Scotland's out.

Mark

All my teams are out.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

So if Messi wins another one, he's certified the greatest soccer player that's ever existed. Two World Cups.

Schultz

Yeah. Back to back is pretty crazy.

Mark

You can't take away. Like, what is the argument? Even FIFA corruption outside of FIFA corruption, which they will eventually forget about because Maradona smacked the ball with his hand and they still looked at him as the greatest years later.

Schultz

Yeah. Yeah.

Mark

So there's part of me that, like, I like. I like greatness.

Schultz

You saw Tom Brady even give it up.

Mark

Yeah. He's like, this might be better than 28. Three. Yeah.

Schultz

Yeah.

Alex

That's the thing. The corruption bullshit. How do you explain the three core goals, though?

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

That's the thing.

Alex

Soccer.

Mark

It's not like. Soccer ain't like basketball, bro. It's hard to score a goal. Yeah, that.

Schultz

That's. That's my thing. I'm like, bro, you're up two. Nothing. Like, they got a goal taken away.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

So it should have been three. Well, it should have. At that point, it would have been 2 0. Then they ended up scoring.

Schultz

Yeah, exactly.

Mark

But, like, had they went up 2. 0, maybe they wouldn't have pushed as hard for that third.

Schultz

Like. True.

Mark

That's true.

Schultz

And then, like, Argentina was playing kind of dirty. They smacked an Egyptian player in the face. I like to see. I want to. To see Egypt win, to be honest.

Alex

Oh, no, I was going.

Mark

That would have been cool. I was going for Egypt.

Schultz

Right? Like, it's so fire.

Mark

France, Morocco.

Alex

Who do you got?

Mark

Oh, that's who I'm rooting for. Morocco. France or Morocco? Tomorrow I'm rooting for Morocco.

Schultz

I'm going for France.

Mark

France. 77% chance on.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

I mean, yeah, that's from what these guys say. The Francis. Spain.

Schultz

Belgium. Spain.

Mark

Spain.

Alex

Spain.

Mark

73.

Schultz

Norway.

Alex

England. I got to go England.

Schultz

I bet you England has an edge. Probably, like, 55%.

Mark

64, 36. I'll be honest with you. Everybody hates England. And who hates England? Like, everybody. They're like Argentina of the tour.

Alex

Really?

Mark

Nobody roots for England. But I. I also get. There's, like, an imperialist mindset behind this as well.

Alex

Okay.

Mark

So, like, England kind of feels in a lot of ways like the Yankees. You know, like, everybody just hates. But I don't think they have, like, the winning history of the Yankees. But there still is this animosity to, like, winning and when it bothers people.

Schultz

Okay.

Mark

And if I wasn't Scottish, I would be rooting for them just because I know it annoys the shit. Like, and I like their chance. They have the best chance. Their fans are the best, and the players are nice.

Schultz

Jude Bellingham's just a stud gentleman and,

Mark

like, just worked his ass off in that game. He was very easy to root for it.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

So I kind of like England. Even though it breaks my Scottish family's heart, I. With them.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

So Morocco and England, I'm probably rooting for.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

All right. What do we got? What are the odds? Yeah.

Schultz

Any other games?

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Argentina, Switzerland. What do you got?

Mark

Oh, come on.

Schultz

I want Switzerland, but Argentina is going to win.

Mark

72% on Argentina on either team.

Schultz

It'd be nice to see Switzerland kind of get at it. Right? Crazy underdog.

Alex

All that Neutral Switzerland. Yeah. No, I'm talking.

Mark

No, he's saying historically.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Historically, yeah. They're neutral. Yeah, they're great. They're neutral. What's Argentina doing, bro? They're not neutral. Not neutral at all.

Alex

I don't like them.

Mark

He doesn't like either one.

Alex

Exactly, Dude.

Mark

But imagine being Switzerland, the country.

Schultz

All right. Yeah.

Mark

Can you imagine? It sounds sick as hell. Like, it's a beautiful country, but, like, you're just surrounded by people that are just annoying. Yeah. Like America. We. We have, like, the greatest people below us.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

And the nicest people above us.

Schultz

Y.

Mark

Like, clearly, God favors us.

Schultz

Yeah, that's true. That is true.

Mark

There's no question whether God favors America or not, because they gave us the best neighbor. Neighbors in the history of the world.

Schultz

Canada.

Alex

Us.

Schultz

Mexico, come. That's us. That's. That's what God gave us, bro. We're the seed of.

Mark

We are the seed of existence.

Schultz

Existence, bro.

Mark

No, for real. Think about that. Is there a place on the planet, like, not everybody. We take it for granted that if we go up north, they're the nicest, kindest, most accepting people. And if we go down south, they're the most fun, jovial, awesome people.

Alex

Okay.

Mark

They all believe in the right God.

Schultz

Yep.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

Crisis King. Crisis gang.

Schultz

Right.

Mark

So it's just O. Or you could be Switzerland. To your left are the rudest people on the planet. To your right are the most autistic people on the fucking planet. South, you got Italy, kind of, but you got the German Italy. Yeah, it sucks.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

And they give them waterfalls or fucking hiking.

Schultz

You get why they're neutral.

Mark

You get why they're neutral. Like, I don't want to be friends with none of y'.

Schultz

All.

Mark

What am I supposed to do here? Run up in a mountain? Ricola. Is that Switzerland? Or sell all the Austria. Whatever. Same. That sucks. Imagine being some. Like, I know. We always go like, oh, Europe. You're so close to all these different places, so you can get the. Out of there.

Schultz

Yeah, that sucks.

Mark

Like, think of it. There you are stuffed. Think about that.

Schultz

I get why Switzerland is like, yeah, I don't want to play with none of y'. All.

Alex

We're us.

Mark

You see them with Jeremy's about, you're

Schultz

like, nah, can't do that.

Mark

And also, their languages are just infiltrating your country. You got no chance.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

They haven't figured out what language they want. They're so neutral. They haven't figured out what language they want.

Alex

Speak all.

Schultz

We speak every language.

Mark

English. You should Speak English. That's what you should fucking speak.

Schultz

What if Trump got that one? What if Trump was like, hey, we also got Switzerland.

Mark

I'll be honest with you, I don't want it.

Schultz

No way. Why?

Mark

I don't want it.

Schultz

Why?

Mark

I had enough of them.

Schultz

I mean, Zermatt seems beautiful, you know, it seems like a nice place.

Mark

I don't want it. I don't want it, Mark. I don't want it one bit.

Schultz

Well, if you're Switzerland, what do you do?

Alex

Nah, then it's another place that's we have to protect, that's surrounded by people that hate them.

Schultz

So we don't. They have the Swiss, they have this. Good point.

Mark

Decent point. It's another place. Speaks multiple languages, surrounded by people

Schultz

they can defend themselves, bro. They got the Swiss Guard. They got these boys defending their nation, bro.

Alex

That's kind of fly. Hold up. Nick's colors too. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Mark

Why did we show up like this? We haven't even talked about the Knicks.

Schultz

No, they.

Mark

They snapped with that shout out to Mexico.

Schultz

This is the last World cup thing. I'll bring up this guy all time. Great Mexican guys going by with the Beers takes his flag. Slurp.

Alex

Oh, legend.

Mark

Okay. This is why they're the best, the greatest people on planet earth. That's true. We should be thanking our lucky stars that they're right down there next to us.

Schultz

We could have been next to Switzerland.

Mark

Shout out, but shout out. Canada too. I with them.

Schultz

Good group of guys.

Mark

They're a good group of guys.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

I'm never upset when I go to Canada. I'm. I'm always happy. Yeah.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

I like the attitude everybody got here. This is nice, you know, France, amazing stuff and beautiful. And the service is great, the food, but you feel attention.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

They don't want you, you don't want them.

Mark

It's the whole Ireland during the day. You feel something. Yeah, it's a little dark. A little dark Ireland at night. Oh, it turns up. You see why this tiny little place created all this art.

Schultz

The best music ever.

Mark

Oh my God. God bless them. It's. You almost want to be a vampire. Like if you were a vampire.

Schultz

Yeah. You'd may be in Ireland.

Mark

Ireland.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Yeah.

Schultz

Cuz no one would ask where you were exact.

Mark

And no one would care if you. If you took the women out.

Alex

Like they're. No.

Mark

There'd be no concern whatsoever, you know?

Schultz

All right, you want to do some feelings?

Alex

No.

Schultz

Facts.

Alex

Yep.

Schultz

Should we talk about the Knicks?

Mark

We got it. We got. I know it's a little late. First of all, can I do. And I just want to say that I. I am invested. Okay. So I, I have to do a financial reason. This is the greatest flavor that has ever been existed in pouches.

Schultz

Ras.

Mark

This is. And I. This is not an ad. This is me just telling you that this is the greatest. I went to a smaller dose.

Schultz

Just do more.

Mark

Yeah. You know my heart. Yeah.

Schultz

Just a feeling more.

Mark

Know my heart.

Schultz

You know what I mean? That this is the best. Like a little dessert.

Mark

Raspberry lemon. It's the raspberry lemonade from what was it? Cheesecake Factory or something like that. Like a rasp.

Schultz

It is.

Mark

It's like a slushy.

Schultz

It's just dessert. You ever order at a restaurant?

Mark

Raspberry lemonade.

Schultz

Raspberry lemonade sashes. And sometimes I have them and I'll bring them out on a little plate.

Mark

Can you act.

Schultz

Shut up. At a restaurant. That I'm going to do. I'm going to do that. That's going to be one of my main dessert.

Mark

Instead of like a little mint, after the food they give you that little chocolate. That's a fantastic idea. That's what I want after I eat.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

After I have a delicious meal. I just want a little pouch.

Schultz

Like in Europe they'll be like.

Alex

Yeah, it's actually a really good idea the way that all these stuff is popping. Just have a menu for those.

Schultz

I saw it at a bar. I saw it at a bar recently. They just had them behind the counter. I was like, that is a great idea.

Mark

Because that's what they used to have with the Siggy Wiggies.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

Oh, really?

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

Back in the day, I'm older than you. There used to be a vending machine for the Siggy wiggies.

Schultz

Wow.

Mark

They had those cool knobs. Yes.

Schultz

They were awesome.

Mark

That was the coolest vending machine.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

That is, I mean, a Siggy wiggy after a meal while you're sitting at a nice cafe in France.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Outside. They nailed that.

Mark

Blowing it in the face of a six year old that only knows smoke. That's what happened to us.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

Yeah. That's what happens when you live in Europe. You just blow smoke at a six year old's face.

Schultz

Yeah.

Mark

And everyone likes it and they like it. Yeah. I, I grew up in Europe. That's awesome.

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

You're actually not white trash. You're European. I don't know if you knew.

Mark

I didn't know that.

Schultz

It's funny. Someone in my family smokes and they Asked they were like, do your friends smoke?

Mark

And I was like, no, they don't smoke.

Schultz

And I thought for two more seconds. Like almost every one of my friends rips darts every time they have one beer. I think they just drink for an excuse to smoke. I don't even think they want to drink. I think they're just like, I want to smoke, but I need to justify it to myself and I'm sober enough to not do it.

Mark

I think about Siggy Wiggies more than I think about Molly or accessing. Cuz I haven't donated that since I had kids.

Alex

Oh, okay.

Mark

And that is. Yeah, I haven't had a cigarette overdue. Drunk at the bar outside, taking a break, Rip a little bogey ears kind

Schultz

of ringing, you know what I mean?

Alex

I actually can't right now. I'm trying to cleanse my body.

Mark

Why?

Alex

I'm going to Ayahuasca this weekend.

Mark

You are doing?

Alex

Yeah.

Schultz

Where?

Alex

Upstate Jersey actually, but not far, like hour away.

Mark

Sounds authentic.

Schultz

Yeah, I was the capital.

Mark

That's where I would go.

Alex

Nah, it's a lady, she comes from Colombia. She like does the ceremony like once a month and stuff like that.

Schultz

She's Italian?

Alex

No.

Mark

No. And where is the ceremony at?

Alex

Like they get an Airbnb and then they just several people between like five, five to eight people, whatever. And then they have like helpers and all this type of stuff. I looked it up. It's really legit. And yeah, I'm nervous.

Schultz

No, don't be nervous.

Mark

Who'd you cross reference this with?

Alex

So I heard from my friend's wife and then I did some research on the lady and she's legit.

Mark

And you spoke to other people that went with her?

Schultz

No, but like her link didn't look good.

Mark

Are you, are you going to be in the jungle? Cuz part of it is like becoming one with the earth. So you need to be around trees and.

Alex

Oh, not necessarily. Like a lot of people, they kind of after, after they drink it and do the shitting and all that stuff. They just lay it down.

Schultz

They just go to Hoboken and just.

Alex

No, they just like laying down.

Mark

Yeah, but you don't want any distraction. You only like to in the city.

Schultz

It's awake.

Alex

Yeah, it's like one of those houses in the woods that it's like away from everything. You have like a campground and all that type of stuff. But. But yeah, I'm going to miss two days of the Jay Z concert. I'm really sad about that.

Mark

You're missing both days.

Alex

Well, he's doing three. So I'm going to see the first

Mark

day and then you were planning to go to all three?

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

You're going to not drink and go to the Jay Z concert.

Alex

Yeah.

Mark

You're going to not have any. Anything at the Jay Z concert. Sober. Stone cold sober.

Alex

Yeah. I love Jay Z. I can appreciate

Mark

it the way you first listened to Jay Z. Yeah.

Alex

I was probably sober. I was a child.

Schultz

Of course you're.

Mark

That's what I'm saying. This is. You're doing it the way that you did it back in the day.

Schultz

Are you nervous?

Alex

Yes.

Schultz

No. Don't be nervous.

Alex

Actually, very.