Kristen Carter

This episode is sponsored by Talkiatry. If you've ever tried to find a psychiatrist who takes your insurance, you know how discouraging it can be. Long wait lists, confusing systems, no appointments available. It can make getting support feel impossible. Talk I atry was built to make that process easier. Pulchiatry is a fully online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses and ongoing medication management for mental health conditions like adhd, anxiety, depression and more. Pulchiatry isn't thick therapy. It's psychiatry. You're seeing a licensed medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. They have more than 800 clinicians, all in network with major insurers, and you can continue with the same provider over time so that your care can actually evolve with you. I've used tochiatry. It's easy. Getting started is simple. Complete a short online assessment, get matched with clinicians who fit your needs, and schedule your first visit in days instead of months. More than 300,000 patients have already found care through Talky. Head to topiatry.com I have ADHD to get matched in minutes.

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This episode is sponsored by Quince.

Kristen Carter

Summer always makes me rethink what I'm actually reaching for every day. I want lighter fabrics, better materials, and pieces that feel effortless the second I put them on. That's why I keep coming back to quint. I love quints. Quint has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses and tops with styles starting at just 32 bucks. Their linen sets have honestly become my summer uniform. Easy, breathable, comfy, and somehow always makes me look like I'm more put together

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than I actually feel.

Kristen Carter

Their denim is soft and comfortable, their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for the cooler nights, and everything feels elevated without being fussy or pretentious. What really surprises me is the pricing. Everything at Quint's is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. And it's not just clothing. They also have beautiful home, kitchen and bedding essentials. I use it.

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I love it. I did it before they were a sponsor and I'm gonna keep going.

Kristen Carter

And you should too. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com I have ADHD for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com I have ADHD. Hey, what's up? This is Kristen Carter. And you are listening to a bite size episode of the I have ADHD podcast. I am medicated, caffeinated, regulated and ready to roll.

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This little episode is one of my

Kristen Carter

favorite clips from the podcast.

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It's perfect if you're not in the

Kristen Carter

mood for a full hour long listen because let's be real, some of us ADHDers just don't have the patience for all of that.

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But if you are a die hard

Kristen Carter

listener, think of this as your mid week pick me up.

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It's Thursday, y'.

Kristen Carter

All.

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Friday is right around the corner.

Kristen Carter

If you love this clip, check out the show notes for a link to the full episode.

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And remember, my friend, drink your water, take your meds, grab a snack.

Kristen Carter

Now let's get rolling.

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Okay, so why do we look forward to the weekend all week long and then completely fall apart when it gets here? Like, why, why is this like, I wonder if you see yourself in this cycle where it's like, I can't, I can't wait to have time off.

Kristen Carter

I can't.

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I'm gonna get so much done. I'm gonna get so much rest, I'm gonna recover, I'm gonna recuperate. And then the weekend comes. Or let's say your vacation time or whatever, like time of the day or excuse me, of the week or the month that you have off comes and it all goes to hell. It all falls apart. And you're just like, why? You wake up with the day off and there's so much potential and you're so happy. At least I'll speak for myself. So happy that there's no structure. Like, thank God I get a break from like having to follow a plan, right? There's no urgency, there's no boss. But then by like 2pm you're just like, wait, the day is half over. All I've done is scrolled. I'm paralyzed on the couch. You start to feel guilty, you start to feel overwhelmed. And then by Sunday night, you don't feel restored, you don't feel recuperated, and you're shame spiraling and you have like the Sunday scaries because you have to start the week the next day. You're like, no, I've gotten nothing done. I don't feel rested and restored. I feel worse than I did when I started because I had this like invisible list of shoulds that I was going to accomplish but never did. And. And now I have like the anxiety of knowing that my week starts tomorrow. Oh my gosh. And so this is what we're gonna talk about this week. I was, I was chatting with a friend who was recently diagnosed with adhd. And she told me she had just started medication. And she told me how her doctor recommended that she not take it over the weekend. Her doctor was like, take this stimulant medication but you don't have to take it over the weekend. And I was like, oh my gosh. So she was telling me how like she felt great during the week. She was noticing a difference, she was getting more done. But then the weekend came. She, she didn't take her medication. And she was like, it was as if my parking brake was on. Like I just, I couldn't move, I was stuck. I didn't get anything done. And I was like, yes, of course. Because ADHD is not the kind of thing that you can just support in one context, but not in other contexts. Right. We, it, it needs consistent, constant support. I was told when we started medicating my son, who is inattentive type adhd, so he gets very spacey and very locked up in his brain when he's not on his stimulant medication. So what it looks like for him is that he kind of retreats into himself and he doesn't really socialize, he doesn't really talk. It's as if he's like in another world. And the doctor was like, oh, he doesn't need to take it over the summer. And I was like, like hell, he doesn't need to take it over the summer. This child struggle so much socially because he's locked up in his brain. And you think that I'm going to take the support away from him during the summer when he's the most social, when he's most able to like get together with friends and ride his bike to the park and go fishing with his friends. You think that I'm going to allow him to be locked up inside the castle of his mind all summer long? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I have so many big feelings on this and I'm not even to the part in my notes about this, I'm gonna rant on it again. That was just a little taste of it. Let's move forward. My weekends have improved quite a bit. So if you listen to a very old episode entitled Surviving Saturdays, it's from 2020. I talk about my evolvement and I was kind of in the middle of it at the time. So this was six years ago and I was just figuring out as a what 38 year old woman who had been diagnosed with ADHD for almost two decades. I was just figuring out that, like, oh, weekends are really hard for me. Oh, I really struggle when there's no structure. Oh, I wonder if I should be not less vigilant about my medication on weekends, but actually more vigilant because of the lack of structure. It was like this process. I'll link, I'll link this old episode in the show notes if you want to go check it out. You can hear from 2020 version of Kristin Carter. That's a very different vibe. But I was just learning these things. I remember saying to my husband on a Saturday and I did this like a million times. So what are we doing today? And he would be like, I mean, I don't know what you're doing. He's like, I have a plan. And he would like, lay out his plan. And I would be like, wait, what? Why didn't you make a plan for me? So growing up, and I mean that very literally, like intentionally growing up and, and having this understanding of how difficult the unstructured time is, is really important for us. My gosh.

Kristen Carter

This episode is sponsored by AG1. Summer is my favorite season. You all know that. But it's also the season where routines tend to disappear. Different beds, different schedules, travel, late nights. It's easy, easy for healthy habits to get pushed aside. And that's why I keep AG1 with me wherever I go. AG1 is a daily health drink with a multivitamin free and probiotics, superfoods and antioxidants. 1 Scoop 8 to 12 ounces of

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water and I'm done.

Kristen Carter

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I wanted to read this. One of our Focus members posted this in our Slack regarding weekends and I just thought it was so relatable. She says, I'm all over the place on weekends. Often it's all or nothing. I'll do housework or chores all weekend and then be super tired by the end of the weekend. Or more frequently I tell myself I need a break and then I just scroll on my phone and buffer all weekend and then I'm mad at myself for getting nothing done again. Generally I have a million to do's in the back of my mind or in some hidden list. And then when it's time to look at them and make a plan, I'll get overwhelmed and I'll shut down and do nothing. I feel like that sums it up absolutely perfectly. So why are weekends so hard? First of all, I think that while we resist structure and we're so happy, at least I'll speak for myself. So happy to not have structure on the weekends. No external structure is actually really difficult for us. It's really, really difficult. No structure often equals no activation. Really hard to get ourselves moving and going if there's no structure, right? So we're like, oh, I have the whole day free. This is amazing. And we start to create this inner list of shoulds or coulds and we don't actually get any of it done because there's no structured time, which leads me to my next one. There's often too many options. There's we, we've all carry around the ball and chain of the running list of things that we could or should do. Or could and should do, right? We, we carry. We like drag it along with us like a ball and chain. The problem is there are so many options when our time is our own. So should I clean out the garage? Should I organize my closet? Should I file my taxes? Should I go to my son's soccer game? Like what? There's just so many options. We often struggle with decision paralysis. And it's like, I don't have time to get it all done. I don't know which one to choose. So I'm just not going to choose anything because time is unstructured. It doesn't feel like there's a lot of urgency and so there's not a lot of dopamine involved. So again, it's very hard to get activated. We have so many undefined should, shoulds or coulds. So many things that we should or could do. Again, we're dragging it along like a ball and chain. We don't know how to prioritize. We don't get anything done. And we have a very real and valid need for both downtime, like actual rest. We have a real and valid need for actual rest. And then we also have this real invalid need to get things done that keep our lives moving forward, like laundry and groceries and cleaning and whatever the case may be. You have to make the Amazon returns. Like, when do you make that? You do it on Saturday. But like, so you have this list of things that, like, would be very helpful to get done. And you have at the same time a very real and valid need for rest and downtime. And it's as if those things to, like, both compete against each other. And then amongst all of that, there's this overwhelming pressure to use your time well, right? Makes me want to puke like I should. This is my time. I have the whole weekend. It's my time. I need to use this time well. And that pressure will lead us to shut down more often than not. And then, of course, we have adhd. So there's time blindness the whole day. Like, you give me a whole day. I don't, I don't know what to do with that. We have our toddler brain. Like, our, our frontal lobe does not want to kick in. It wants a break. And so we have this like, toddler brain. And it's very interesting because for most of us during the week, we're told what to do. Here is the project you need to work on. Here's the meeting you need to be at. Here. Here are the different, you know, KPIs that need to get done, et cetera, et cetera. But when it's your own time and you're your own Boss of the 48 hour weekend that you have, it's just like, I don't know how to organize this. I don't really know what to do with it. I don't want anyone telling me what to do with it. I don't even want to tell myself what to do with it. But then that gets a little tricky because then I don't get anything done, including resting, including, like restoration. There are a couple of myths that also make this worse. Myth number one, that weekends are for catching up on everything, which is, I think, like this secret thing that we tell ourselves. Like, I'll get it to it on the weekend. I'll get it. I'll get to it on the weekend. And then, like, we've got so many things that we tell ourselves we're going to get to on the weekend. It just becomes unrealistic. It leads to this feeling of failure because we didn't follow through on this fantasy that we created for ourselves that we could actually get it all done on the weekend. Myth number two is that, like, every single weekend should be used to be productive and to be restful and to be social and to do all the, like, all of the different categories of things to get done. Like, I need to be productive and I need to be restful, and it's just, like, it's too much. And then myth number three, so I'm going to go back into my rant here, is that we don't actually need to support ourselves on the weekends. I don't really need to eat. I don't really need to take my meds. I don't really need to be vigilant about my hydration. I don't really need to move my body. All of the things that. Oh, and I don't really need to sleep. Right. Like, weekends are for staying up late. But all of those things are what support our ADHD and minimize our symptoms. Medication minimizes our symptoms. Eating well and at regular times minimizes our symptoms. Sleeping minimizes our symptoms. And so it doesn't. None of this cures adhd. I'm talking about making symptoms less visible because we're supporting ourselves. And on the weekends, we're like, eh, I don't really need it. This is my fun time. I can stay up late. I can sleep in until 12 and, like, not eat breakfast, not take my meds. I don't really need to worry about, like, drinking water. This is the time that I don't even want to think about moving my body. And all of the support that we have in place that really helps us with our ADHD symptoms, we just think that we can just take a break for it. And so many medical professionals also perpetuate this idea by just saying, like, oh, you don't need to take your medicine on weekends. You'll probably want to take a med break on weekends. Which is terrible advice, in my opinion. I. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a psychiatrist. I understand that that coming from me, it may be like, well, how do you know better than a doctor? Let me tell you. First, I've read the research. Second, I have ADHD myself, and I've lived this for decades. And third, I support thousands of people with ADHD and Over the last six years, seven years, I've seen such a theme of, like, doctors telling clients patients you don't need to take medication on the weekend, and then patients crashing and burning on the weekend and being like, I guess I'm just a bad person. I guess I'll ne. Like, as if on the weekend you do not need your ADHD to be supported when literally this is your time to be productive in your own space during the week. You're meant to be productive in someone else's space, right? Like for your job and you're being productive for someone else. But on the weekend is your time to be productive. Even if that productivity is restful, even if it's going for a hike, even if it's, you know, doing, like going to dinner with friends, that is still productive in that it, it produces life in you. It's productive because it serves a purpose for you personally. So I would argue that it is just as important, if not more important, to be taking your medication on the weekend, because if you do not support your ADHD symptoms on the weekend, your ADHD symptoms will come for a party, they will come for a rager, and, and, and your weekend will be completely hijacked. And then you're going to feel like a bad person as if. As if you've done something wrong when really you were just following, in my opinion, very bad advice.

Kristen Carter

Thanks for listening to this bite sized episode of the I have ADHD podcast. If you enjoyed this clip, you'll find a link to the full, full episode in the show notes. And don't Forget to visit ihaveadhd.com for tons of adult ADHD support. All right, my friends, I had a great time with you today and I cannot wait to talk to you again next week. Bye Bye.

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Mom, can you tell me a story?

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Was she brave?

Kristen Carter

She was tired mostly.

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No secret treasure map required. Did you have to fight a dragon?

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Was it scary?

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It did, actually.

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