Michael Kosta

Morning decisions.

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Michael Kosta

Or sweet vanilla smooth caramel maybe?

News Correspondent

Or white chocolate mocha?

Desi Lydic

Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits.

Michael Kosta

Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

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Michael Kosta

You're listening to Comedy Central.

Host/Narrator

From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily show with your host, Michael Costa.

Michael Kosta

Feeling the energy. I'm feeling it. Welcome to the Daily Show. Wow, what a great crowd. I'm Michael Kostak. We got so much to talk about tonight. J.D. vance has complicated feelings about meat. Pete Hegseth wants to see your chest hair. And the World cup is almost over, so time to find another reason to punch a stranger. But first, let's check in on the incredible members of the Trump administration in another edition of the Worst Wing.

Gareth Reynolds

What a bunch of losers.

Michael Kosta

President Trump is addressing the nation tonight, and because we tape earlier in the day, we don't know yet what he's going to say or which museum he'll be putting his name on. But come on. Museum of African American History and Culture. But there is one person who does know what's in the speech, and he sure is making the most of it. Trump's longtime teleprompter operator is accused of using inside knowledge to cash in on prediction markets, allegedly making more than $100,000 by betting on what the president would

Sponsor/Ad Voice

or would not say.

Michael Kosta

Honestly, respect. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I know. People are going to say it's cheating if he knows what words are in the prompter, but with Trump, that's not a sure thing. For example, let's say he puts a. That Trump is going to read the word magnificent in a speech.

Gareth Reynolds

And just across the bridge in front of Arlington Cemetery, we're building a magnificent. Really beautiful.

Michael Kosta

Does that count? Does that count? I hope it does, because I put a 200 large on it. Now, obviously, using a teleprompter to win bets is a recipe for trouble. I mean, I read from a prompter and I know our operator would never. Purple bananas. Purple bananas. Purple bananas. God damn it.

Host/Narrator

Christina.

Michael Kosta

But I assume Trump is cool with this. I mean, game recognized game.

News Correspondent

He's on unpaid administrative leave right now. There are very strict ethical guidelines here

Desi Lydic

at the White House.

Michael Kosta

Did she just say there are very strict ethical guidelines at the White House? This is like claiming that Love island has a dress code.

Jake Johnson

Nice track.

Michael Kosta

Let's move on to someone in the West Wing who's slightly less important than the prompter guy. J.D. vance, Vice President and the weak link in your improv group. He's been on the podcast circuit lately to plug his memoir and share a bit about himself, but I feel like he's oversharing.

J.D. Vance

The thing I couldn't get over Biden is the way that he ate ice cream. I mean, it's like, you know, we could bring some of this stuff up, but it's like they would get him eating ice cream in the most ridiculous, suggestive way imaginable.

Michael Kosta

Suggestive? I mean, I remember seeing Joe Biden eating ice cream, but I don't remember pitching a tent over it. You ever meet someone with a kink and they assume you have it, too?

Gareth Reynolds

Man.

Michael Kosta

Man, look at that goat. Just teasing us. But if you actually look at Joe Biden eating ice cream, there's nothing suggestive about it. I mean, look at this. The man uses his teeth. He's biting it like a shark. Either JD Vance doesn't know what he's talking about, or I've been giving blowjobs wrong this whole time. But Rocky Road isn't Vance's old, only sexual food hang up. You know how politicians are always being photographed awkwardly eating food at a state fair. JD is not going to let that happen to him. You'd have to be a very manly man to be able to eat a. Confidently. Confidently eat a corn dog.

J.D. Vance

I don't know that I can do it, Joe.

Michael Kosta

I eat them.

Sports Commentator

They're good.

Michael Kosta

Yeah, but they taste good.

J.D. Vance

Are you. I love corn dogs. I try. I try to eat my corn dogs. That's between. That's between me and my kitchen.

Michael Kosta

That's between you and your kitchen. Yeah, that's right. JD's not one of those losers eating corn dogs in public. He's eating his corn dogs alone over his sink in the dark. Who's making a fool of himself now? Why do you have this gay panic, dude? Nobody's gonna think the corn dog is a penis. I mean, it's a hot dog, so there is some rat penis in there, but it's not like in a gay way.

Jake Johnson

But J.D.

Michael Kosta

vance wasn't just there to list his top ten most arousing foods. He also clued Joe Rogan in on the US Strategy for the war in Iran.

J.D. Vance

We're not just gonna do something open ended indefinitely. We're not just gonna bomb and bomb and bomb. We're gonna try to use our military force as one of the many tools that we have to solve the problem.

Michael Kosta

Yeah, yeah, I love that. Our military shouldn't just be used to bomb without any strategy. Great idea, J.D. oh, quick suggestion. Instead of flying to Austin to tell it to this podcaster, why don't you walk down the hall and tell it to the President of the United States? Because so far his strategy is bomb. And I like your strategy of don't do bomb, which I hope is for strategic reasons and not just because the shape of a missile makes you uncomfortably horny. Now, you might be wondering, does this guy even know that he's the Vice President? Don't worry, he knows.

J.D. Vance

Like, my life is, dude, totally transformed. I don't go to the grocery store anymore. People go to the grocery store for me.

Michael Kosta

Dude, that's awesome. Maybe you should go to the grocery store. You might learn some stuff. Like, oh, were beans always $85? No, they weren't. And it's actually your job to fix it. But still, the Vice President wants people to know that even though he doesn't do his own grocery shopping, he's still J.D. from the block.

J.D. Vance

But it can become the sort of thing that if you internalize it, you start to be an entitled asshole. Yeah.

Michael Kosta

Yep, yep. You see, he's self aware. Don't forget this. This guy is from rural Ohio. He grew up poor, so he's not about to exploit his newfound privilege at taxpayers expense. Right?

Host/Narrator

Right.

Sponsor/Ad Voice

Some of the Secret Service agents assigned to protect Vice President J.D. vance say they're, quote, fed up with his personal and family travel requests.

Reporter

Just last Thursday, the family demanded that agents join a military helicopter crew to fly his young son to his golf lesson across town.

Michael Kosta

They have also used the choppers to

Reporter

house hunt in Virginia.

Michael Kosta

All right, now first off, if you're trying to get the best deal on a new house, maybe don't show up in a helicopter. I can't go over 1 5. Money's tight. I said money is tight. It's the Secret Service who blew the whistle. Do you know how overbearing you have to be if the people who signed up to take a bullet for you are like, woof. This guy is a diva. Let's move on to Pete Hegseth, Secretary of Defense and the personification of sun sout guns out because he has nothing else going on right now. He came out with an important message for the troops.

L

We have the most elite warriors on the face of the earth. While we invest heavily in our weapon systems, platforms and gear, our most decisive tactical advantage will always be the individual warfighter. We have a sacred duty to maintain that advantage. Which is why we must constantly look for new ways to optimize your performance, your resilience and your long term health.

Michael Kosta

Awesome. You know, I thought this guy was just a walking word salad of military cliches, but no, he cares about the troops and there's so much to do. We could fix the va, Give our troops some mental health care. For once, I could feel good about where our money is going. So what's the priority here, Petey?

L

Today I'm authorizing a new screening program for testosterone deficiency for our service members. Ensuring you have the right testosterone levels to operate at your absolute best.

Michael Kosta

Hell yeah. This Secretary of War up policy a lot. It's kind of a problem. He thinks the biggest problem facing troops is low t. Wait, are the marines pulling the trigger with their rock hard cocks? You know, every time you look at what this administration is up to, you always find the most insane combination of audacity and stupidity. But after all this time, I do think there's something we can do about it. All it takes is purple bananas. Purple bananas. Purple bananas. When we come back, we catch up on the latest in sports. Don't go away.

Sports Commentator

This is going to be an extremely busy month. I have to watch 104 soccer games. Follow the pre game, the post game, yell useless opinions at the tv.

Michael Kosta

It's a lot.

Sports Commentator

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Gareth Reynolds

welcome

Michael Kosta

back to the Daily Show. I think I speak for everyone when I say politics drools and sports rules. For a full recap of the biggest stories in the world of jocks and straps, we turn to Sports War.

Host/Narrator

Get ready for battle. It's time for Sports War. Brought to you by Gamblin. Gamblin for sale. Baby shoes and baby. I'm in deep.

Desi Lydic

What's up sports fans and lonely dads? At Buffalo Wild Wings, I'm Desi Lydic.

Michael Kosta

And I'm Michael Kosta. This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.

Desi Lydic

So if I say LeBron would be a perfect fit for the Golden State

Michael Kosta

warriors, then I say screw the Warriors. He's a perfect fit for my YMCA over 40 rec league team, the Blue Shirt team. We still can't pick a name without Lebron, we'll never beat the Green shirt. God, now that's a good name.

Desi Lydic

LeBron doesn't need your fat balding friends with anger issues. That's what Draymond Green's for. But let's get into the biggest story in sports. The World cup final is this Sunday, right here in the heart of New York, East Rutherford, New Jersey, and it is shaping up to be a doozy.

Michael Kosta

The men's World cup final showdown is

Sports Commentator

set and Argentina will face Spain after a stunning late comeback against England led by captain Lionel Messi.

Michael Kosta

Oh man, this is gonna be goooood awesome. I'm betting everything on Spain, Espana. And not just because once I put together a swing set using only the Spanish instructions. Let's just say my kids got muy endured after the El Slido collapsed. Oh, Dios mio. Regardless, Spain is technically a proficient team that's gonna make a meal of Argentina. Well, technically 11 small meals served on tiny plates. And much like the World cup, it'll be very expensive and completely unsatisfying.

Desi Lydic

Like your wedding night.

Michael Kosta

It was a nightmare, Costa.

Desi Lydic

I'm betting mi casa on Argentina. They're gonna make this game real messy for Spain. Argentina's not to be messied with, thanks to their star player, Enzo Fernandez. Plus they have that short old guy whose name I can't remember. And don't get me started on Argentina's

Michael Kosta

secret weapon, a generation of Nazi grandchildren.

Desi Lydic

No, something even better.

Sponsor/Ad Voice

It's a battle of the generations with 39 year old Lionel Messi going head to head with Spain's 19 year old star, Lamine Yamal.

Michael Kosta

The multi generational divide underscored by this remarkable snapshot from a charity calendar photo shoot nearly 20 years ago. The image going viral showing Messi when he played for FC Barcelona, giving baby Yamal a bath.

Desi Lydic

Yeah, that's right. Messi's playing the classic mental long game. Twenty years ago he volunteered to give a bath to a baby who he knew would grow up to be Spain's star player. Now that is how you get inside an opposing player's soft little head. How can Yamal possibly lock in knowing the man across from him has seen his tiny baby empanada.

Michael Kosta

I disagree, Desi. That tiny baby empanada haunts Messi's dreams. He wakes up in a cold sweat yelling, how can I defeat the hairless balls I once so tenderly washed?

Desi Lydic

It makes you think, oh, why start now? Which brings us to our no tears diaper buster bet of the night. What kind of weird ass charity put out that count? Presented by Gambling. Gambling. Hungry Gamble.

Michael Kosta

Moving on. While we don't know the winner of the World cup just yet, we already know the breakout star of the tournament is this fan from Norway. It's Norway's fans who've been grabbing the headlines with their Viking inspired rowing chant. But one supporter was not happy. This is Emil Aners lappin in the middle of a crowd of rowing fans. But he went viral for refusing to join in. First of all, I just find it really stupid. And it's factually wrong. The Vikings sailed across the Atlantic. They didn't row across the Atlantic.

Desi Lydic

Oh, come on. Since when new nerds like sports? No wonder Norway lost. This fjord didn't row. This is a sacred Norwegian tradition going all the way back to March of this year. He was just sitting there drunk, doing nothing. I sit here drunk doing nothing all the time. Why don't I get any credit? You know why? Because I'm a woman.

Michael Kosta

Desi, Desi, Desi, Desi. You're just proving what everyone thinks. Women don't know shit about Norway. The fan. This fan gets it. The fun part of sports is historical accuracy. Of course he shouldn't row. He should do as the Vikings do and decapitate everyone inside a monastery.

Desi Lydic

Okay, Costa. Sports are about showing up for one another, pulling in the same direction. No, I. In team whatever other bullshit we tell men to get them out of the house for 10 minutes so I can pumice my heels in peace. God damn it.

Michael Kosta

Which brings us to our six months of the darkness of the never ending night. Now that Norway lost, where will they row? That imaginary boat presented by Gambling. Gambling. There's a reason Grandpa smells like that.

Desi Lydic

Of course. With the World cup coming to a close, now's the time when teams that underperformed are trying to figure out what went wrong. And in Senegal, they may have found an answer.

Michael Kosta

The Senegalese Football Federation said that after the tournament ended, they realized the national team doctor was a gynecologist and not a sports doctor, which allegedly caused discomfort among players during the World Cup.

Desi Lydic

That's where. That's where my Senegalese gyno's been. I've been flying to West Africa because he's the only doctor who takes my insurance. Plus, there's nothing sexier than getting a pap smear in French. How dare they blame him for losing. Look at the numbers. Yes, Senegal allowed nine goals, but they had zero yeast infections.

Michael Kosta

Desi, let me disagree. And just a heads up, okay? You're gonna feel a pinch. Men need man doctors. Not clam doctors. Manly men doctors. You tell your ACL he prescribes you. 20 years of staring silently out a window. How is this my life?

Gareth Reynolds

Yeah,

Michael Kosta

Stop staring at me.

Desi Lydic

Which brings us to the ovary under Parladia. Bed of the night. Can Costa accurately label this diagram. Presented by Gambling? Gambling? He went to Jared, his brother, for money.

Michael Kosta

Come on. The Chicago Bulls logo. I can easily label that. Well, that's all the time we have. Join us next week when we ask, is it time people with disabilities got their own separate Olympics?

Desi Lydic

Yeah, dum dum. That already exists.

Host/Narrator

Oh.

Michael Kosta

Cause I was gonna say no. God, you know, you're such an idiot.

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Michael Kosta

Amazon Health AI presents Painful Thoughts why

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Michael Kosta

Don't go down the rabbit hole. Amazon health AI gets you the right care fast. Healthcare just got less painful. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is an actor and producer who stars in the new Apple TV comedy film the Ding. Please welcome Jake Johnson. Come on, Jake. I gave you a pickleball one. I didn't like our handshake, and then we redid it and it was solid.

Jake Johnson

You know what? Cost them a bit of a hack. I saw the audience and I turned out.

Michael Kosta

You did. Look, I didn't watch the movie. I. I understand. I don't like pickleball. It's a hobby. It's not a sport. I despise it. What's it about?

Jake Johnson

Don't you?

Desi Lydic

Yeah.

Gareth Reynolds

That.

Michael Kosta

I'm here representing the Pickleball Association. What is this. What is this film about? I can tell already by some of the jokes you guys laughed at. This is a pickleball. On audience. What's the film about?

Jake Johnson

The film is about a former tennis pro.

Michael Kosta

Yep.

Jake Johnson

He's got.

Michael Kosta

It's a great sport.

Jake Johnson

Who's got a lot of bluster.

Michael Kosta

Yep.

Jake Johnson

Started doing pretty good. Met Andy Roddick in a match.

Michael Kosta

Yep.

Jake Johnson

Got beat by Roddick. Did you ever play against Roddick?

Michael Kosta

I wasn't that good.

Jake Johnson

Okay. Neither would I have been.

Michael Kosta

I mean. Let me tell you a quick story.

Gareth Reynolds

Please.

Michael Kosta

I know this is your interview, but

Jake Johnson

I'd love to hear.

Michael Kosta

I played tennis. I love tennis. I was never at his level, but when Apple sent me the screener for this, you know how they put your name as a watermark?

Jake Johnson

Yes.

Michael Kosta

So at one point, you're playing against him, and it was my name playing against Roddick. And I'm like, this is my dream.

Jake Johnson

This is my dream tomorrow.

Michael Kosta

This is why Roddick. You know, when I was living vicariously through you.

Jake Johnson

Well, one thing really fast I need to say about tennis. After working with Brad Gilbert, he was my coach.

Michael Kosta

I gotta ask you about that.

Jake Johnson

Okay. I got some stuff. I love Gilbert.

Michael Kosta

Gilbert.

Gareth Reynolds

Okay, good.

Jake Johnson

And I saw it when I first saw you, and I noticed you were tall.

Michael Kosta

Yeah.

Jake Johnson

You got great legs, Costa.

Michael Kosta

No, I don't.

Jake Johnson

I don't say. No, no, no. I say that as a tennis man. To a tennis man, we notice each other's legs. Because the game is all about the legs, baby. And you got the legs to go pro.

Michael Kosta

Thank you very much.

Jake Johnson

I. I threw you because you know it's right. You got people. Beautiful long legs, my man.

Host/Narrator

Well.

Michael Kosta

And this is the Thing in the sport of tennis, you can actually talk about a man's legs.

Jake Johnson

It's important. Well, so what happened with Brad Gilbert is.

Michael Kosta

Brad Gilbert, by the way, legendary tennis coach, first of all, legendary tennis player, wrote this amazing book on tennis called Winning Ugly, which is awesome. Which is an amazing book. But now he kind of helps the stars learn tennis. You know, he's just such a great

Jake Johnson

character, and he's having so much fun. So he just kind of helped me do it as we watch. But as we were hanging out a lot, we would see younger people playing at these tennis clubs. And I'd be going, is that kid worth a damn?

Gareth Reynolds

Right.

Jake Johnson

That kid's going to college. How's he doing? And then he started saying, look at the legs. And then when I met Roddick, I said to Roddick, I was gabbing about Brad. Cause Roddick's so funny.

Michael Kosta

He's great.

Jake Johnson

I was like, gilbert's such a character. All he wants to do is talk about legs like a weirdo. And Roddick goes, that's not funny. That's what we do. I was like, all right, that's cool.

Michael Kosta

Legs are important. In the sport of sex, legs are important.

Jake Johnson

And what I will say is, I got pickleball legs, baby.

Michael Kosta

Okay, well, I'm low to the ground.

Jake Johnson

I can squat. I can nail that little wiffle ball.

Michael Kosta

The movie is really funny.

Sports Commentator

Thanks for being here.

Michael Kosta

I had laugh out loud moments. I wasn't rooting for you or the film. I was only mad that I wasn't in the film.

Jake Johnson

I wish you were.

Michael Kosta

And it won me over. It is so, so funny. There's so many good, hard jokes. You got to play against Andy Roddick. You got to play a lot of pickleball with him.

Gareth Reynolds

I did.

Jake Johnson

I was actually truly nervous. We do that big third act sequence where we battle against each other. The director wanted 14 point sequences. I know.

Gareth Reynolds

Wow.

Jake Johnson

In a oner.

Michael Kosta

Yeah. And like, here to the back end and here. Yeah.

Jake Johnson

It's so hard.

Michael Kosta

It's very hard.

Jake Johnson

And Andy hits it so hard.

Michael Kosta

Yeah.

Jake Johnson

And he gets so mad at himself when he misses.

Host/Narrator

Yeah.

Jake Johnson

Which I don't know if it's a tennis thing.

Michael Kosta

Well, there's a reason that he was one on the world and I was 800. He didn't miss.

Jake Johnson

And also, you were chill on yourself.

Gareth Reynolds

Exactly.

Michael Kosta

Like, if I missed, I was like, it's okay.

Gareth Reynolds

It's happening.

Michael Kosta

It's a long sport.

Jake Johnson

It's a hard game. But we'd be playing and he would hit it and miss a little bit. And It'd be fine.

Michael Kosta

When you said you were training with Brad Gilbert, what does that mean? You live in la. He's in la. You know, the film is coming up and what are you working on? Because it's not like so many scenes of you playing tennis.

Host/Narrator

Well, I got to.

Jake Johnson

I got to serve it.

Michael Kosta

Yeah. Yeah, you do have to serve of it. Did you work. Did you work on the grip with him? Not so much. I felt like maybe there could have been some grip work done there.

Jake Johnson

You think my grip would. No way.

Michael Kosta

I want if. No way. Costa, if we're going to have Brad Gilbert on. On Monday.

Jake Johnson

Are you. No. Here's what we worked on, and this is the absolute truth. He's a man who likes to drink and smoke a little bit weed, and so do I.

Host/Narrator

Let's go.

Michael Kosta

Yeah, let's go. Not true, not true.

Jake Johnson

We worked a lot. We worked hard, and for a guy who's never played, and I said this before, and I'll say it again, but I do a great job as a player. Holy mackerel. I look like a real player. I blow people away. And I'd love to get you on the court, Costa. You versus me for $100,000.

Michael Kosta

I would love that.

Host/Narrator

Let's do it.

Michael Kosta

I would love that. I would love that.

Jake Johnson

Love that.

Michael Kosta

Zooming out, please. Okay. Your career's in fuego right now. It's crazy. A lot of people know you from New Girl.

Gareth Reynolds

Yes, sir.

Michael Kosta

You were on for eight seasons.

Host/Narrator

Yeah.

Jake Johnson

Amazing job.

Michael Kosta

But you have this Midwest sensibility that I love. I got you that I love. And I can tell that you care about the craft.

Jake Johnson

Yes, I do.

Michael Kosta

And not as much about the stardom or the fame. And I mean that as a compliment. That's a fact, man. Is this because you're from Chicago? Is this because you're a Midwest guy? Is this because you just. You had good parents? Is it all a lie? And it's a manufactured branding image?

Jake Johnson

I'm trying so hard to be a big star, baby.

Michael Kosta

It's not working. I'm spinning.

Jake Johnson

Honest to God. What happened is I started to work a lot, and it was getting really exciting. And all the perks I thought would come with celebrity weren't there.

Sports Commentator

Right.

Jake Johnson

And I thought, like, well, I don't love this, but, you know, I came up to an improv watching this show early. I was like, oh, these bits are so great. I was doing UCB here in New York.

Michael Kosta

Amazing.

Jake Johnson

And I loved it. I did Second City. I did Improv Olympic. And I just feel like the dream is in the scene. And the dream is between action and cut. And if I get to do that and continue to do that, the rest I truly don't care about. And my daughter said something pretty great one day where somebody came up to me. They were about three. And my mother in law goes, what's it like when somebody takes a photo of your daddy? Just to say, like, for her to see if it's weird that I'm an actor. Because it's weird. And she meant to say, my dad's famous. That's why. But she said, oh, it's okay. My daddy's just familiar. And I went, that's my level. And I like it.

Michael Kosta

That's nice.

Jake Johnson

So I go to the airport. Yeah, I'll go to the. I did a movie with Tom Cruise. He gets out of a subway, people sprint at him. The city stops down, right? I go to the airport. Every once in a while, somebody just goes, hey, all right. And I go like this. Now we're talking.

Michael Kosta

I am now at the level where I'll be sitting on the subway. That tells you something. Still taking the subway.

Jake Johnson

God bless you.

Michael Kosta

But I'll look across from me, and people are like googling. And I can see it's like Daily show guy.

Jake Johnson

Yeah. But it's like, you know, by the way, good enough.

Michael Kosta

I mean, I had Rainn Wilson sitting right here, Dwight Schrute from the office, and he said he wishes someone would have told him during the office, it's enough. You have enough. You're working with funny people and you're being funny. It's enough.

Jake Johnson

Yes, well, that's something I was very aware of during the dink because it was directed by a dear friend of mine and it was written by a friend.

Michael Kosta

It was directed so.

Jake Johnson

Well, Josh Greenbaum is so. Sean is the funniest guy.

Michael Kosta

It is excellent film.

Jake Johnson

Thank you, my man. I appreciate your story. But it was that ever. And Mary Steenburger, who's the nicest and funniest. Funniest and the best. And then Aaron Chan, who's so good.

Michael Kosta

Dude, what is that scene where you guys are just in a pool talking? What the is that scene? Who knows?

Jake Johnson

I'm watching this, by the way. It was only pool. Cause the country club had a pool. And we were like, shall we do it?

Michael Kosta

This is when it's like you're used to shooting things on your own budget or whatever.

Gareth Reynolds

Exactly.

Jake Johnson

Right.

Michael Kosta

We have a pool.

Jake Johnson

But this one actually was an indie movie, so it feels big because Apple came on, but we raised the money independently. We just made it in la.

Michael Kosta

You can tell it's Apple because I was like, oh, is that actually the song or is it a knockoff? No, that's the song. That's the theme song from the Natural.

Jake Johnson

Yeah.

Michael Kosta

And I have a tear in my eye.

Jake Johnson

That's pretty good.

Gareth Reynolds

That's great.

Jake Johnson

That's pretty good.

Michael Kosta

No, the cast is excellent. It's an underdog story. And did you approach comedy in this business, show business, as feeling a little bit like an underdog or was?

Jake Johnson

Yeah, I guess.

Michael Kosta

How'd you approach it? How'd you approach it?

Jake Johnson

I really, really just wanted to work. And so I didn't have any sort of strategy or game plan. It was just, I want to do this, and I want to do this so bad. So any part. My first couple jobs, I was like a killer on, like, lie to me type shows. And I was like, if that's what it's going to be, I'm the bad guy. And then.

Michael Kosta

I can't picture you as a killer. I'm sorry. You don't have killers. It was a very bad performance.

Jake Johnson

Luckily, Liz Meriwether, who created New Girl, saw me in an indie movie directed by Max Winkler called Ceremony, said, I want to work with you. Put me in her movie. That movie did well. Then we got to do New Girl. And then I felt like from there, if the role is underdog or whatever, I just want to keep playing.

Michael Kosta

You know what's crazy? What? I went to middle school with Liz Meriwether.

Jake Johnson

You swear to God?

Gareth Reynolds

Her brother.

Michael Kosta

I swear to God. I've known her longer than you, and she hasn't put me in a thing.

Jake Johnson

Let's give her a little shout right now.

Michael Kosta

And I may have had a few pop at the Emmys last year, and I made a no. And that's not gonna help my chances. And it might help your chances. Cause you never know. You have two daughters?

Sponsor/Ad Voice

Yes.

Michael Kosta

Oh, man. I got two daughters. They're six and three.

Jake Johnson

Oh, you got babies.

Michael Kosta

What? You know, how do you instill the Midwest roots in them?

Gareth Reynolds

Do you.

Michael Kosta

Do you care? Are they la?

Jake Johnson

They're la.

Gareth Reynolds

They're L. A.

Jake Johnson

Where are you raising yours?

News Correspondent

Here.

Michael Kosta

I'm raising them here. And I'm like. The other day, my daughter goes, I'm from Brooklyn. And I said, don't you. You ever say you're from Michigan? Like, I am. And she's like, but I'm not from Michigan.

Jake Johnson

Well, your girls are young. It's going to change. I said, you're a Cubs fan. You're A Bears fan. You're a Bulls fan. You pronounce it Cubs, Bears, Bulls.

Host/Narrator

Right.

Jake Johnson

That's just what your life is. And then they were about seven and they were like, we like the Dodgers, you know, it's like, do you know

Michael Kosta

who my father is? He's Crackle. This is the Cubs.

Jake Johnson

And I had to just accept they're la, but they are. I don't know, man. You know this, but raising kids is

Michael Kosta

just the greatest thing ever.

Jake Johnson

It changed everything. And I gotta say, I didn't expect. I always thought I'd have boys.

Michael Kosta

Yeah.

Jake Johnson

Just cause I'm sloppy and heavy.

Gareth Reynolds

Yeah.

Jake Johnson

And.

Michael Kosta

But just like, everyone knows that correlation. If the dad is sloppy and heavy, you know.

Jake Johnson

Well, that's part of it.

Reporter

Yes.

Jake Johnson

And if you're like, really lean and mean, you could have girls.

Michael Kosta

Yeah, you have girls.

Jake Johnson

But what a joy having daughters has been. Oh, man, what a twist of fate that has been for me where I'm like, oh, what fun getting into the music. They like playing their games more. It's been awesome.

Michael Kosta

What advice would you have for any parents? Don't do it. Well, I hate that.

Host/Narrator

Run.

Michael Kosta

Run. I hate that. It gives me such joy to hear someone talk positively about having children. Any advice for me as they're young? Any advice for anybody being a parent in showbiz?

Jake Johnson

Yeah. So the real advice is. When I first had kids, I heard a lot of people I looked up to who were older saying, like, man, I really regret it. You know, all their best years, I was gone. Now I know. And I was like, just don't make that mistake. These are. You're like, it's a cool story, but you only have 18 years with them. And now that mine are 12, it goes so fast. So three and six. I still feel like I have that. But they won't. Like, when I get home, nobody misses me from this trip. I like, text my wife. I'm like, I'm coming home on a red eye.

Michael Kosta

I'll be there at midnight.

Jake Johnson

She wrote, great. My daughters have phones. No response. Three to six. They're still like, you're home.

Host/Narrator

Right?

Desi Lydic

Right.

Jake Johnson

And now they're like, you're home.

Michael Kosta

Yeah, it's true. They, like run up to me and hug me, which is sweet.

Gareth Reynolds

Yeah.

Jake Johnson

Mine go like this. Hey, you're back, right?

Michael Kosta

You have a podcast where you give advice to people.

Jake Johnson

You would be great on it.

Michael Kosta

I'd be great on it. Cause I need so much advice.

Jake Johnson

I would actually love you to. Please, come on.

Michael Kosta

I would love to do that.

Jake Johnson

I would love to do that you would be perfect.

Michael Kosta

I think it's funny that you may have come on the Daily show just to book your podcast.

Jake Johnson

Well, I'm our segment producer.

Michael Kosta

What kind of advice are people asking for?

Jake Johnson

So the premise is, my great friend Gareth Reynolds pitched me this idea, but it's as if you went to a bar and you needed advice, but you wanted it from a couple of drunks rather than someone who's gonna give you sound advice. He said, and I really believe sometimes those drunks give the best advice. Yeah, it's never gonna be to, like,

Michael Kosta

go talk to them. Right.

Jake Johnson

I'm having a problem with my boss.

Michael Kosta

What should I do?

Gareth Reynolds

Confront him? No.

Jake Johnson

Dress up like a pirate. Sneak in through the air ducts, put parmesan cheese all over the floor.

Michael Kosta

And that'll teach them. Right.

Jake Johnson

And what happens is we weren't sure how bitty our show was gonna be, but then what we realized is what we love is the follow ups. Because the community does the stuff and then they follow up and they'll be like, putting the cheese on the floor was a mistake. It did bring rats. And so Gareth was like, we have to put a disclaimer. So at the end, we're not like, maybe don't do the really dumb ones.

Host/Narrator

Right.

Jake Johnson

But we're here to help. We love making it. And truly, I'd love to have you on.

Michael Kosta

Well, I would love to do that. And also, it just goes to show in life, you don't always need perfect advice. You need someone to talk to. Sometimes that helps. How about that, bro? I love this film. It feels like a big comedy. It feels like we haven't seen this

Jake Johnson

in a long time and these mid level ones have gone away and I don't know why. These were the movies I loved.

Michael Kosta

Yeah, I mean, it's like truly big laughs. You also know if that laugh didn't work for you, there's another big one coming.

Jake Johnson

And there's slightly different tones.

Michael Kosta

Correct.

Jake Johnson

But Josh did a good enough job to keep it together. There is a lot of heart with Mary Steenburgen, which was really shocking.

Michael Kosta

Well, come on. There's also the scene where you and

Jake Johnson

your dad are confronting Ed Harris.

Michael Kosta

Oh, man, that's great.

Gareth Reynolds

Come on.

Michael Kosta

And as a guy who grew up in the tennis world watching Ed Harris play a psycho tennis dad.

Host/Narrator

Beautiful.

Gareth Reynolds

Bravo. Bravo.

Michael Kosta

Thank you for coming out. Please go see the dink, everybody. The dink of the above, globally on Apple TV, July 24th. Jake Johnson. We're taking a quick break right back after this.

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Michael Kosta

That's our show for tonight. Now here it is, your moment of Zen.

Gareth Reynolds

I hope you're going to do magnets. Somebody out there, I hope you're all brilliant people. Magnets. Do magnets. Okay, I'll tell you how to make money. Do magnets. You're doing a lot of great stuff. Do magnets. Because one thing we don't have, but we're getting close. But do magic magnet Explore more shows

Host/Narrator

from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus,

Michael Kosta

This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

News Correspondent

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