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Glen Washington

I'm Glen Washington, host of Snap Judgment from kqed. Every week Snap drops you ins someone's biggest decision, the kind of decision you can only make once with everything on the line. What do you believe? What do you want and what would you risk to get it? Find out. Tap to Listen now to Snap Judgment from KQED on Spotify.

Zach Delanzo

You're listening to Comedy Central.

Michael Costa

I wish people weren't injecting fluid in their scrotum. I wish they were injecting empathy into their heart.

Zach Delanzo

We got the clip. Hello and welcome to the Pre Cap Pre Cap a daily show podcast where we sit down with this week's host to recap some of the latest news and preview what's coming up next. I'm Zach delanzo, a writer at the show and I'm joined today by this week's host, Michael Michael Costa. Thank you for saying it with me and his dog Walter.

Michael Costa

Walter. 11 year old Havanese mix taking a

Zach Delanzo

nap in the corner of the room.

Michael Costa

Walter, can you say hi? Do you have any thoughts on the week he's Honestly, ever since Lindsey Graham died, he has been.

Zach Delanzo

He's having a tough go of it.

Michael Costa

He's just down. He loves any expensive international conflict.

Zach Delanzo

Yes.

Michael Costa

Walter is into it. He supported Lindsey Graham all the way. And it's true what they say, Zach. You can't control what your dog's political opinions are.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, but you love him nonetheless. But I mean, we could certainly start by talking the big news. It is. We woke up on Sunday and found that Senator Lindsey Graham had suddenly died after, I guess, a heart condition. Heart event.

Michael Costa

71.

Zach Delanzo

71. Young.

Michael Costa

I thought actually that he would be much older.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. Because he's been around. And I think of, like, when I was watching The Daily Show 20 years ago, it was like he was. Him and McCain were such staples of coverage. So it feels like he's been around at least. Like, when I start. First started paying attention to politics, which seems like a long time. Huge Warhawk.

Michael Costa

Warhawk. But I was like, wasn't there a time when he was kind of like, anti Trump?

Zach Delanzo

There was a time he came onto the Daily show when Trevor was. And I think they played billiards together because I think Lindsey Graham, like, owned or grew up in a billiards hall or something like that. And they. And like, it was like they were just talking trash on Trump the whole time. And then it was. But then, like, I think Lindsey Graham rightfully realized, like, hey, I should actually. This guy's actually very popular. I need to be his. Like, do whatever he says. Pretty much. So part of what made it so shocking is that we're all sort of anticipating news about Mitch McConnell, who sort of has disappeared for a month or so. But it turns out as of he. He posted this picture of himself, a proof of life, which people were demanding, by the way.

Michael Costa

McConnell unheard from in four weeks.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

I mean, this is. It's not like. Not like when people saw him at the grocery store, but like. Like, we have not seen this.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. What's great about the picture, before we go into that is like, that they subtly, like, clearly gave him a newspaper to have in the shot to be like. No, this was like. This is.

Michael Costa

No, this is recent. Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

And, yeah, I guess he had a fall and also had pneumonia, according to him. Yeah.

Michael Costa

We don't know. Honestly, they should have written the date on his forehead so you know exactly what date it is. This is where we're at. I mean, my official stance on all of this is a third of our Senate is 70 or older. And it's wrong. It's not the way it should be. We should. If all those people were forced to retire at age 68 or 70, we would have much younger people representing us, the American people, in the Senate.

Zach Delanzo

And a lot of the things we are dealing with. It's frustrating seeing extremely elderly people not know how to regulate these massive technology corporations that are sort of changing the fabric of society every day. And, like, they just can't wrap their heads around it because they, maybe because they're in their 80s. And that's always been a challenge for elderly people is understanding the new emerging technologies.

Michael Costa

It'll be hard for me when I'm 80 to understand the new technology, even though I'll probably say, well, can I at least have sex with it?

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, that's going to be top of mind.

Michael Costa

And it is funny that Mitch McConnell, in his 80s or whatever, what's Mitch, 81. Is holding a printed newspaper. Yeah, I, I, you know, that's also funny. But you're right to bring up, Lindsey Graham dies and immediately there's extra pressure on Mitch.

Zach Delanzo

Like, no, I'm okay.

Michael Costa

Just to show everyone. So really, Lindsey Graham is the reason we have this picture.

Zach Delanzo

Yes. Yeah, we have. So thank you for that. I guess. McConnell is also, like, he's also been ancient for 20 years. He's like, I think of the video of him, like, where he just, like, they asked him a question, he just sort of freezes on camera. And it is like, do you want to, they only, they only work like 20 hours a year. But still, like, don't you just retire and like, Fish man.

Michael Costa

I know, well, but if people aren't going to retire on their own, we need to put in legislation that requires that.

Zach Delanzo

Right. The only problem is that they have to pass. Yeah. Yeah. And it's not like the, this keeps happening. We're like, I don't know how many sitting Congress people died this past year. It's always like a math thing trying to keep. A lot of things are getting decided based on who can die less right now in Congress.

Michael Costa

We did a chat last week that I was in that was talking about how Mitch was afraid to come forward because he doesn't, he's, he has to hold on to the seat. But what if he's, like, truly incapacitated? Like, wait, like, what does it take? Like, do you actually have to be, like, pushed out of the door in a body bag now for, like, this, this your spot to be, like, open. And then they're too old. The whole bottom line is they're too old.

Zach Delanzo

They're too old. They're too old or they're too young and horny, which was the case, problematically.

Michael Costa

Horny. Yeah.

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Zach Delanzo

This is a segue. There's important business because the war with Iran is back on. I guess I didn't know. It's all, it's like every other week there's sort of, hey, we're close to getting a deal and then it falls apart and we're back fighting. And now the Iran is saying the Strait of Hormuz is closed. Trump says we're also like, he's doing what they did last time where he's, we're taking over the strait. And now we're like both on the same page in terms of the strait being closed.

Michael Costa

You know what I do when I see Trump on my TV is I mute him. Yeah, it really is actually helpful. It's like a helpful strategy. Like, don't listen to his words.

Zach Delanzo

Right.

Michael Costa

Just see what's happening.

Zach Delanzo

Right.

Michael Costa

Like check the actions, not the words. And it is helpful because what's annoying about our media is everyone reports on what he says, but it's like, has

Guest or Secondary Speaker

nothing to do with.

Producer or Additional Voice

No substance. Really.

Michael Costa

What he says has nothing to do with what's happening. Right. So. But I think I, like many Americans, don't really know what's happening in Iran. It's on, it's off, it's on, it's off. I pay attention to the gas prices.

Zach Delanzo

Yes.

Michael Costa

And I also think, like many Americans, I believe that the kind of longer this goes and the messier it goes, the more Iran is better at that.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. It does feel like they know how to do that. Yeah. It does feel like we're getting toyed with in some way. And I can't believe how much we talk about the Strait of Worm in my day to day life. But. And it's like this was sort of the thing why people were like, you should. They told the President not to go into Iran because this is Iran's every

Michael Costa

war simulation since Richard Nixon, when actually war simulations were like fucking someone with like little army guys was like, if you attack Iran, they close the Strait of Hormuz.

Zach Delanzo

They have this great play they can run.

Michael Costa

Correct.

Zach Delanzo

And they ran it and we're dealing with it. And now they just keep. Yeah, it's a good bargaining chip on their end. Congrats to them on that. I guess.

Michael Costa

Congrats to Iran on somehow having the Strait of Hormuzzi. Not congrats to America on still relying on foreign oil. I'm waiting for more Americans to buy bicycles or skateboards or unicycles. I know you're a big unicycle guy.

Zach Delanzo

I go to work every day. I'm not particularly good at unicycling.

Michael Costa

He crashes his way to work every day.

Zach Delanzo

Have you ever been to Amsterdam? They've got a great bike culture there. And I want that for us also.

Michael Costa

And I want to tell everyone who's listening, it's fun riding a bicycle.

Zach Delanzo

It's exercise, it's fun.

Michael Costa

Riding a bicycle, sitting in a car in traffic is not fun. No, I enjoy riding a bicycle. And we should be. You know, we talked about this last time I was on the podcast. We should be also discussing our reliance on foreign oil because the Strait of Hormuz, whether it's open or closed, something we do not control, should not affect every American's Day to day operation.

Zach Delanzo

The one time people in America pay attention to politics is when they are gassing their car. That's sort of like how we understand the rest of the world is through the gas pump. And yeah, we're getting. It's not pretty right now. Except if you're getting your gas from a Trump Freedom fuel station. These mysterious gas stations that are somehow selling. I don't know, he runs this country

Michael Costa

like, like a Chuck E. Cheese. You know what I mean? Like, he's like, we're gonna steal the oil from Venezuela and put it in my special little fund over here.

Zach Delanzo

Is that what they do at Chuck E. Cheese?

Michael Costa

No, but there's like. I was thinking it's like a game frame. It's like tickets over here. You can buy this and then I'll sell this back. It's just. Yeah, it is. What are these things? I don't.

Zach Delanzo

There's. There. They have the vibe of like freedom fuel.

Michael Costa

There's like a big cocaine Freedom fuel.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. There's a big American flag on it and an eagle with that looks like a, like professional lacrosse team logo or something. Totally. And yeah, they're selling it for 3. 47. And people think the 47 is a nod. $3.47 is a nod to Trump as the 47th president. They're selling oil or selling gas below market.

Michael Costa

It's about a dollar cheaper.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, it depends on where you are. Yeah, Yeah. A lot of them have been to Pennsylvania, which is like, okay, so this like swing state is getting all this cheap gas. I don't.

Michael Costa

I feel like it would just be called Trump Fuel. Why?

Zach Delanzo

Right, yeah, just like, why even dance around it?

Michael Costa

I'm really annoyed how freedom is this word, but nobody can really define it. Abuse. Like what is it? What is freedom?

Zach Delanzo

I mean, is it buying below market oil?

Michael Costa

We all have ideas, but it is a word that gets used a lot. Much like patriot.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Guest or Secondary Speaker

Yeah.

Michael Costa

What the fuck is that? What is that?

Zach Delanzo

It's a highly. People want to co opt this word to push various things which we should start doing. We should start calling this. This is the Daily Show Freedom Podcast.

Michael Costa

Freedom Daily Show.

Zach Delanzo

The Freedom show presented by patriotism.

Michael Costa

Yeah. Oh.

Zach Delanzo

Another gas price related story is that apparently in Russia.

Michael Costa

Okay.

Zach Delanzo

And you'll love this as this. This isn't bicycles. But horse sales are skyrocketing.

Michael Costa

Okay.

Zach Delanzo

Because of the gas prices from a transportation standard. So I guess people are.

Michael Costa

They're not slaughtering these horses. Although horse meat is a highly consumed meat. Actually. Alan, can you please pull up the highest the most popular animal meat in the world, and I believe it's goat, horse, cow. The three most consumed meats worldwide are pork, poultry, and beef. So I was totally wrong.

Zach Delanzo

Maybe, maybe, maybe it's made.

Glen Washington

Maybe.

Zach Delanzo

It depends on what content you're continent.

Michael Costa

Thank you for the picture of bacon.

Zach Delanzo

Bacon. Okay.

Michael Costa

Bacon 1. Chicken 2. Beef, 3. Lamb, 4. That's surprising. Goat, 5. Turkey, 6. I eat a lot of turkey.

Zach Delanzo

Do you?

Michael Costa

Duck, 7. Oh, ducks. Buffalo, 8. What's this? Source 9.

Zach Delanzo

Goose.

Michael Costa

We haven't even had horse yet. 10. Rabbit. This is some. What is this for culinary?

Zach Delanzo

Goose. I feel like I've never heard of anyone other than Ebenezer Scrooge eating a goose.

Michael Costa

I'll have the goose, please.

Zach Delanzo

Well, point is, people, I think they're. I think they're buying. I think horse sales are on the rise because people are, I guess, riding horses more in Russia.

Michael Costa

It's funny, in today's technological advancement, people are literally going back.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, it's kind of like analog.

Michael Costa

Yeah. It's kind of like when a tragedy happens and the Internet is too busy or too filled with nonsense, I always turn on, like, the radio.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah.

Michael Costa

I'm like, this is nice. I need to hear like a stoic man's voice tell me what's going on.

Zach Delanzo

AM radio. Yes.

Michael Costa

Also, it's a nice reminder that if you ever have car problems, you can always. You could use a horse.

Zach Delanzo

You can always use a horse. Have you ever ridden a horse?

Michael Costa

I am. Yes. And I can see you on horse. I do not have a great track record with horses.

Zach Delanzo

Wow.

Michael Costa

And I like horses. I respect them.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah. Majestic creatures.

Michael Costa

Majestic creatures. I'm tall. I have a big dick too. And. And I just feel like they see me as a threat.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, they're like, he's. You're sort of like an alpha horse or some sort of. They don't.

Michael Costa

Yeah, yeah, that's. That was my nickname in high school.

Glen Washington

Horse.

Michael Costa

I think horses are amazing, but I do not have a great track record with horses. I feel like you need to know how to be around horses.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah. That.

Michael Costa

You horse guy.

Zach Delanzo

I'm not a horse guy, but I. I respect them. I think. Yeah, there are, there are. I. I have. I've had one good experience with a horse.

Michael Costa

Please share.

Zach Delanzo

Which is one time I was. One time I was running to work. Speaking of commuting in a. In a eco friendly way.

Producer or Additional Voice

Correct.

Michael Costa

Thank you for that.

Zach Delanzo

And in a way that combined. I like the. I like. I like the biking or the running to work because it combines the Commute and the exercise if you're a busy man.

Michael Costa

Anyway, it's just hard for me because I have these huge books of jokes.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

And I have to.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, you have to bring them in. But I was running to work, and this police horse started galloping next to me. And, like, for a quarter of a mile, me and this horse were just like. And there was a. There was a police cop on it. Top of the horse. It wasn't just the horse deciding to do this, but it was like. And like, we were having. I like it. Like, running next to a horse was this, like, really beautiful experience.

Michael Costa

I feel like that is a cologne commercial.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah, truly. Actually, the.

Michael Costa

Isn't there a commercial where Adam Driver. Sorry. On. You got to do this one. Adam Driver is running shirtless, and he morphs into the horse, and it's a cologne ad. Horse. Yeah. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Look at this. The tennis channel was showing this ad, like, crazy. Horse, horse, horse, horse. Adam Driver. Adam Driver. Adam Driver.

Zach Delanzo

Yes, that was me. Yes, yes, yes.

Michael Costa

All right, now watch this. Look at this. And he's got a great body. He's pretty horse like Adam Driver, too. All right, watch this. Buddy's also running in, like, leggings. But watch this very last clip. Now. Adam Driver's swimming.

Zach Delanzo

They're sending a message like, he is the horse.

Michael Costa

He is the horse. Does Adam Driver get approval on this? That right there?

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Producer or Additional Voice

Okay.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Guest or Secondary Speaker

Okay.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah.

Michael Costa

Can you freeze frame on that, please? I mean, look at that. No other host. No other host does this. What I'm doing.

Zach Delanzo

Centaur.

Michael Costa

Yeah, that is Centaur. Anyways, the cologne is for Burberry, and we. I wonder what it smells like horseshit, apparently.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, well, we did a horse on the last cost of doing business or one of the last Costa doing businesses. There is a. We covered how there's all this counterfeit cologne that has horse piss in it, which I don't. I guess horse piss maybe smells good. And this. In fact, the fact that people are buying horses or that, like, the horse market is skyrocketing is very much Akasi doing business.

Michael Costa

It definitely is. And let's mark that. But also, I wonder if Burberry fragrance is popular in Russia, and maybe they've seen this ad and they're like, I want a horse.

Zach Delanzo

I guess there must be quite a horse culture in Russia, because I think of the classic Putin riding a horse

Michael Costa

shirtless, which is funny, because I don't see them as a country that does a lot of horsing around.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, you Know, truly. And yeah, I guess we're. Yeah, we. We are a very horse centric culture, I would say.

Michael Costa

I always thought it was funny that cops were on horses and then when you actually go to an event and you see a cop on a horse, you're like, it makes sense. He's strong and he's high.

Zach Delanzo

Yes. Yeah. No, yeah. And like.

Michael Costa

And they're scared of them.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah. And either of them could kill me at any moment.

Michael Costa

It's funny that that has somehow stuck around from that time period.

Zach Delanzo

Yes.

Michael Costa

Like the police department's like, no, we're keeping the horse there.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. No, they. This works. Yeah.

Michael Costa

You never see a cop on a donkey.

Zach Delanzo

No.

Michael Costa

Or a pony.

Sponsor/Advertiser Voice

Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

They should get more animal cops.

Michael Costa

I feel like if you're a new cop, you should, you should get a pony.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah. Work your way up. Yeah. Start you as a donkey and then.

Producer or Additional Voice

Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

And if you get demoted, you have to ride a pig around.

Producer or Additional Voice

Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

Right. Yeah. Let's talk about our good friend Pete Hegseth.

Michael Costa

Oh, pet hagseth. Right.

Zach Delanzo

He made news recently, I guess. Well, he's very. He's made a lot of image obsessed policies with our military, including a recent one in which he wants. I don't know if it's official policy, but he has expressed that he wants clean shaven soldiers.

Michael Costa

It feels like the Trump administration

Zach Delanzo

is

Michael Costa

actually very effective and intelligent about how they govern optics.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

But that's the only thing they know how to manage. Yeah. Like optics are so important to them but not well being economy finance, you know, like, but they do really give

Zach Delanzo

a fuck about optics. Yeah. Truly. And it doesn't matter. Like, yeah, we, we're not gonna figure out the situation in Iran, but we'll

Michael Costa

look good not doing it.

Producer or Additional Voice

Yeah. Right.

Michael Costa

But even like the Trump Kennedy center, the way they manage that with the scaffolding. So you can never really see. Now he's forced to take it down. But we're not gonna see that he's gonna put scaffold. Like they manage optics really well in

Zach Delanzo

this like incredibly self conscious way that's sort of deranged.

Producer or Additional Voice

It's awful.

Zach Delanzo

I mean, it's awful.

Michael Costa

But I'm saying like, they're good at the optics.

Zach Delanzo

Yes.

Michael Costa

Yeah, yeah.

Zach Delanzo

And, and like, like there are a, I'm sure a good chunk of Americans who are like. And their base being like, damn right.

Michael Costa

Damn right. Or just they pay. So many Americans don't pay attention enough that they just see something quickly. And that's. That's the Trump model. Right, Right.

Zach Delanzo

It's Just like a weird thing for any. For your job. I just think of, like, imagine if, like, our job was like, hey, you can't have beards here. That's, like, two thirds of the writing staff, you know, like, there. I feel like I understand. I guess maybe the mentality is like, hey, we're all gonna do this thing together, and that will bring us together. But in a. My. I think especially for. We were saying drone pilots. A drone pilot needs to have a big, dirty neck beard and, like, possibly a fedora on.

Michael Costa

I want my drone pilot to be sitting in the basement.

Zach Delanzo

Insane posture.

Michael Costa

Insane posture. Rest like food on the gut. It just feels like he's always got some little thing to complain about.

Zach Delanzo

Do they make you shave your face? You're a clean shaving guy.

Michael Costa

I was thinking about that. You know, so I come from an athletic background, and I definitely. In athletics, you will have coaches say to you, like, you need to shave.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, that was a big thing with the Yankees, I think, like, you couldn't have.

Michael Costa

It's a big thing. It's a big thing. And tv, like, I. I just want to look the best that I can look. But no one has ever said, michael, you have to shave your face. I don't really know how much I give a shit about this, other than he has so many of these, like, optic things that it's like, is anybody managing our fucking defense?

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

Like, is this. Is this really what you're hanging your

Zach Delanzo

hat on below his pay grade to be like, y. Nobody better have beards.

Michael Costa

It's also funny when it feels to me that the American military, in particular in Iran is a fucking mess.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

Like, you shave your beard, it seems

Zach Delanzo

like a low priority.

Michael Costa

Yeah, this should be a. That's what I'm trying to say is you said it best, which is why you're the writer. This should.

Zach Delanzo

This should.

Michael Costa

This is a low priority.

Zach Delanzo

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just curious if you had. If you grew, like, a funny mustache, if the network would be like, hey, do you.

Michael Costa

I think somebody doing well in this building would say, don't. Don't do that. Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Michael Costa

One way to find out.

Zach Delanzo

Speaking of optics.

Michael Costa

Yes.

Zach Delanzo

There is, I guess, a new trend called everything's maxing with GM looks, maxing, et cetera. But now there's a. Apparently it's called ball maxing, in which people are injecting fluid into their scrotum to increase the size. And just a heads up, this may be dangerous to inject random Chemicals into your scrotum. Your thoughts alright.

Michael Costa

So you're injecting fluid into your ball. I'm gonna have to pretend like I don't know what you're talking about. Injecting fluid into your ball sack so the balls look bigger.

Zach Delanzo

I guess so. Are like really big balls. Is that a good look? Let's start there.

Michael Costa

Alan, what are those truck nuts called? Is it called truck nuts?

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, Truck nuts.

Michael Costa

I've always felt like the more you have to show off your dick or your balls.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

Usually the more not a man you are.

Zach Delanzo

Right, Right.

Michael Costa

You know, it's like this whole truck nut thing. People hang testicles from their trucks.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. So they. They're so it's clear that their car.

Michael Costa

Their car is the boy. I wish people weren't injecting fluid in their scrotum. I wish they were injecting empathy into their heart.

Zach Delanzo

We got the clip.

Michael Costa

But who's doing this for real?

Zach Delanzo

Who are we?

Michael Costa

Clickbait.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

What is this shit? Wait, wait. What's the headline? What's the headline? Why Ball maxing may be more dangerous than you think. Of course it's more. Come on.

Zach Delanzo

I mean, I already think it's pretty dangerous.

Michael Costa

Experts caution. Experts who? Ball maxing experts. It could cause infection and may result in long term damage to male genitalia. Some say that increasing their scrotum size makes them feel more masculine and confident. While others claim they believe women prefer larger testicles. Some have also suggested that ball maxing can enhance sexual pleasure and performance. I'm listening.

Zach Delanzo

Okay. I'm actually in. This isn't sounding as stupid as I thought.

Michael Costa

I feel like if she's already seeing your balls, most of the hard work is done. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like if there was a way to. If I could inject something in my body to help me pick up a girl.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

You know, it's the confidence. You get the confidence. Okay.

Producer or Additional Voice

Right.

Michael Costa

Okay.

Zach Delanzo

But yeah, I feel like. I don't know. I mean, you know, I'd be curious. We're maybe the wrong people to talk about. What if a ball is a big ball is a good thing or not.

Michael Costa

Right. Prosthetic testicular implants are a legitimate surgical option. Okay. That's good for me to know. Performed by trained urologists in sterile operating environments. Interesting to me that it does feel like there's this trend in health that all doctors now have to also do cosmetic.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

I don't know if you ever went to a dermatologist when you were a kid, but they were There to like make sure you didn't have cancer.

Producer or Additional Voice

Yeah.

Michael Costa

Now the dermatologists are like, oh, you got a little crow's feet on your head.

Zach Delanzo

Oh, it's like it's written over there.

Michael Costa

You're telling me a urologist, a guy who studies like urinary tract infections is now going to do a prosthetic ball implant?

Zach Delanzo

You got to, you got to have a little side gig, I guess, even as a doctor. Now, field piece.

Michael Costa

Yes, field piece. I would like a third testicle.

Zach Delanzo

Like the woman in Total Recall.

Michael Costa

She had three breasts.

Zach Delanzo

She had three breasts. And I saw that at a very young age because my dad had a lot of Arnold vhs as he should

Michael Costa

as every man that used to be the balmax.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah.

Michael Costa

Just having a lot of, having a lot of laserdisc, Arnold Schwarzeneggers.

Zach Delanzo

And it just seems like, well, I feel like we are, and this is a good thing maybe that like young men are now having as many like bodily insecurity as women. We've sort of finally progress. We've made progress in that sense.

Michael Costa

If you're, if you're out there listening and you're thinking about ball maxing, I would say don't do it. Wait a year if you still really want a ball max. But I bet you this is something.

Zach Delanzo

It's gonna blow over.

Michael Costa

And I would also say for anybody, man or woman, if you want to fix something on the outside, start by trying to acknowledge something on the inside.

Zach Delanzo

That sound advice. And I would just say go for it.

Michael Costa

I would say load them up, load them up.

Zach Delanzo

I remember there being a picture in like a Guinness Book of world Records, maybe, or maybe Ripley's Believe it or not of like a guy with the world's largest ball sack and it didn't seem very fun for him. So maybe think about that.

Michael Costa

Yeah, think about that.

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Zach Delanzo

Hey guys.

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Zach Delanzo

Bacasta.

Michael Costa

Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

It can't all be ball maxing. Let's talk about some of the stuff that's happening coming up this week.

Michael Costa

Yeah. Well, now the first thing is I'm going to be doing my initial meeting about for ball maxing. But you.

Zach Delanzo

Right. Yeah. You were consulting.

Michael Costa

Yes, Consulting. This week.

Zach Delanzo

Todd Blanche, acting Attorney General, former Trump personal lawyer, possibly Trump's still personal lawyer. Is. He's having a confirmation hearing.

Michael Costa

Yep.

Zach Delanzo

And it's been sort of a minute since we've had one of these with a. Where you're like, I can't believe this guy is going to be acting Attorney general. And we'll, I guess we'll, I'm sure it'll be a contentious hearing led by two extremely old men, I believe Grassley

Michael Costa

91 and Durbin, maybe 880s. And hey, let me just say to the Congress out there, this is an opportunity if you're in Congress to check and balance the executive power that exists in our government. Like, Trump is just going to keep pressuring the system and if we don't check it right, you know, you can check it. You have power.

Zach Delanzo

And they've, they like have done things where they're like, hey, yeah, we don't. They have pushed back in ways where it's like very clear that it works

Michael Costa

when they check it. Yeah. The problem with this guy, he set up the J6 compensation fund.

Zach Delanzo

Yes.

Michael Costa

1.8 billion and that did get checked. That did get checked.

Zach Delanzo

Which is like. So, like, would be perfectly reasonable to say, hey, you did this crazy thing. I'm not going to appoint you.

Michael Costa

Right.

Zach Delanzo

He.

Michael Costa

The IRS settlement that gave Trump and his family immunity.

Zach Delanzo

Yes.

Michael Costa

Forever.

Zach Delanzo

To say, you can't ever look at our tax form.

Michael Costa

You can't ever be in trouble. And I think every American out there would agree with this statement. The Department of Justice probably should not be in the pocket of the President.

Zach Delanzo

Right. Historically, that has been, like, a very important thing, but now it's like, it seems very clear that he's. Todd Blanche is going to do Trump's bidding. Correct. As Attorney General. So we'll see. We'll be watching that. My thing with Todd Blanche is that his name is kind of funny. It's very funny. It's very. It's a very Seinfeld name. Todd Blanche.

Michael Costa

And probably Trump really wants him to be appointed also because of Epstein interference.

Zach Delanzo

Right? Yeah, I think. Yeah. And, yeah, I guess I. Blanche has conceded in court that they, as when he's been there, they've sort of failed to do their job, releasing the Epstein files, which is, I believe, US Law, that they're supposed to do that. We'll also be paying attention to how Lindsey Graham's death and the power to fill that power vacuum to fill that seat. I believe Trump just said that he wants Lindsey Graham's sister to take over until. Because it is an election year, that's not allowed. Well, that's what's sort of fun about American democracy is that there's like a sort of 90s sitcom loophole where it's like, huh, his sister.

Michael Costa

Nobody looks.

Zach Delanzo

And I guess, I think maybe the governor is the one who has the power, but I'm sure, yeah. Someone who's like, just not. Who just has a completely different job is gonna be in the halls of. He's going to be filling the seat.

Michael Costa

I was a pharmacist three days ago,

Zach Delanzo

and now I'm a senator. I remember. I remember when Lindsey Graham was running for president, they were like. And everyone was like, you're not married. Who would be the First Lady? And he was like, my sister.

Michael Costa

My sister.

Zach Delanzo

It's not important. We don't know anything about her. But also, is it just Lindsey Graham in a wig? Yeah.

Producer or Additional Voice

What.

Michael Costa

What he tweets is not law and is not policy. So everybody do your job.

Zach Delanzo

Right.

Michael Costa

Right.

Zach Delanzo

Don't. Don't pay attention to it. It is sort of the thing of like, he's. He's so. He's so Cartoonish on camera. That, like, if cameras didn't exist and he. People just read newspapers and, like, got his quotes, people. And it was just written for him. You'd be like, what. I know how is. What, what is he saying here?

Michael Costa

He knows how to. He knows how to work the American media very well.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

Very well. Salads. Well, leafy greens are giving a lot of people diarrhea. Although I always think these are overrated,

Zach Delanzo

these, like, sour diarrhea.

Michael Costa

I think diarrhea is appropriately rated. No. I always feel like every summer there's, like a health scare.

Zach Delanzo

Right.

Michael Costa

And this, this one now is some cryobacteria or something. There's some leafy greens. I mean, I would love to see if, like, the sugar lobby put this one right.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah. I guess a parasite that. That's found that historically has been found on, like, fresh produce has. Is sweeping across America. There's. There's depending on what state. Some states have hundreds of reported cases.

Michael Costa

Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

And it gives people it. We're talking about it because it's diarrhea. And diarrhea is kind of funny.

Michael Costa

I had 11 beers, three bowls of nachos, and two bratwurst on Saturday. And then I think I got it right.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

Because I had diarrhea all night.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. What the heck?

Michael Costa

Maybe.

Zach Delanzo

Is it in the 11 beers? Maybe.

Michael Costa

No, man. But you should wash your salad. That's something that I have to admit I've cut corners on in the past in my life. You. Salad washer.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, I actually just got a salad spinner for the first time.

Michael Costa

Talk to me about that.

Zach Delanzo

Have you have one?

Michael Costa

No, it's.

Zach Delanzo

It's sort of a game changer. It makes, it makes it easy. You.

Michael Costa

You. My parents had one.

Zach Delanzo

Put them in.

Michael Costa

Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

But the thing is, it's still a lot of work to really dry it. You have to, like, do it, like, a lot of times if you really want to dry and you do want to dry so that this dressing.

Michael Costa

There we go.

Zach Delanzo

Binds to it. I've been on.

Michael Costa

Press the button.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, you press the button. Then you stop. Press the button and stop. Then you sort of. Sort of.

Michael Costa

It's a centrifugal force situation.

Zach Delanzo

Right. And then it's like that. Like, mine is only big enough to fit, like, one salad. So if I'm making a salad for a bunch of people. Yeah, it's. It's sort of a bit of work,

Michael Costa

but, yeah, we'll just wash your salad in that case.

Producer or Additional Voice

Yeah.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, yeah. I don't care if my wife has diarrhea. Yeah. Well, it's gonna be a fun week.

Michael Costa

Thank you.

Zach Delanzo

I'm very excited. I always love Costa week. Maybe there's a lot of sports stories, so potentially there's potential sports war.

Michael Costa

Okay.

Zach Delanzo

With what? With the World cup and Wimbledon.

Michael Costa

Wimbledon was a big event. There's a lot of fun with Wimbledon because they eat a lot of strawberries. That's like a huge thing. That could be a cost of doing business too.

Zach Delanzo

That could be a. Well, there's a lot of. They shouldn't be because there's a lot of diarrhea and strawberries that I've been

Michael Costa

told they all come from this one farm.

Zach Delanzo

Oh, really?

Michael Costa

In the countryside of England. They've come there for like 200 years.

Zach Delanzo

Wow.

Michael Costa

So we should see. And it's a female farmer, I believe. We should see if she has diarrhea.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah, that's a good point.

Michael Costa

Thank you.

Zach Delanzo

We should. We tell the journalists in. Well, I guess it's over right now, right?

Producer or Additional Voice

It's over.

Michael Costa

Wimbledon is over.

Zach Delanzo

So if you have diarrhea and are British, then that's why.

Michael Costa

Right. Come here, buddy. Let's say goodbye to the cameras.

Zach Delanzo

I'm gonna have Walter join Walter.

Michael Costa

By the way, this is Walter's favorite time of year right now because fireworks are over. He does not care for fireworks.

Zach Delanzo

I know. If you live in New York City,

Michael Costa

it's sort of always a loud thing.

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Zach Delanzo

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Michael Costa

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Zach Delanzo

Let's go to a segment we call the Daily show and tell Costa, okay, what's something that you've watched, read, listened to, checked out, argued about anything that's been on your mind? Any. Any.

Michael Costa

I've been reading this book that I've been making fun of for many years, but I never actually read it. Now I'm reading it and I kind of agree with the book.

Zach Delanzo

Uh oh.

Michael Costa

So it's a book by Dr. Sarnos and was written in the 80s about how your back pain is really just in your head. Do you know this?

Zach Delanzo

No.

Michael Costa

It's funny. Back pain is this thing that, like, everybody has, no one wants to hear someone talk about. But basically, as I'm reading the book, I forget what it's called, but he's using really old terminology like tension. But he's kind of on the cutting edge of like, your emotional health manifests itself physically. Which doesn't sound crazy to hear now, but that's what I'm reading. And the reason I share that is it's good to challenge your own beliefs and go, oh, the thing that I thought that it was actually isn't that thing. And sometimes I'll be like, have an opinion on something about an article. I just saw the headline. And then you actually read it and you're like, oh, that's not true.

Zach Delanzo

Right? Yeah. And it's what inspired you to read this book.

Michael Costa

I've had back pain. It's been getting better.

Zach Delanzo

Good.

Michael Costa

And finally someone was like, you should read this book. He's kind of quacky, but you might like it. And I'm like, he is quacky. And then I read it. I'm like, that makes sense. That makes sense. That makes sense. And I think it's important actually, because as a country, this is true. I'm not bullshitting you here. I believe as individuals, our emotional health, if not dealt with, manifests itself physically. And I believe as a country, Happy birthday, America. Our scars from the past. If we don't talk about them, deal with them, face them. They will manifest themselves negatively. And that might be what we're kind of experiencing right now, in my opinion.

Zach Delanzo

Right. Yes. Yeah.

Michael Costa

This wasn't really funny, what I just said.

Zach Delanzo

I had a thought of.

Michael Costa

Yeah, but, like, if America is eliminating references to slavery in their textbooks, that is not doing that. That is not facing what happened and what we did. And by facing what happened and what we did. And by the way, there's a million more examples. Japanese internment, Vietnam War. This is a great ender, huh, Alan? We can be better and be healthier going forward.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. You can't bury it.

Michael Costa

You got to go through it.

Zach Delanzo

And I also think, just in terms of the health aspect of it, like, we are just like, we don't deal with anything in real way. So we're always like, oh, the problem is my scrotum's not big enough. And we like, sort of like just fall for all these fat health fads where we're like, this will fix it.

Michael Costa

You gotta get to what the issue is.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah.

Michael Costa

What is your show and tell? Please don't say Dr. Sarnosis back pain book.

Zach Delanzo

I'm reading it too. How have you dealt with your back pain? I'm genuinely. Oh.

Michael Costa

I mean, I really believe in Pilates. I really believe in. I don't actually believe in yoga that much. I believe in stretching your hamstrings. I believe in emotional health. I believe in meditation. And I'm on a path. I'm on a path and I'm making progress.

Zach Delanzo

Back health is important.

Michael Costa

Back health is important.

Zach Delanzo

I think it can really drive people crazy. I recommend running as fast as you can next to a horse.

Producer or Additional Voice

Horse.

Michael Costa

Horse. You know what else helps is rolling in the rollers.

Zach Delanzo

Like the.

Michael Costa

Like this whole week I'm hosting and everyone makes fun of me. I will be rolling in the rewrite room in the ecr. I am rolling.

Zach Delanzo

I think there should be less. Look, if we have to go to work for nine hours a day, we should be able to sort of move our bodies in ways that are healthy. Correct. I always sneak off to the writer's room and do push ups every day.

Michael Costa

How many pushups are you doing?

Zach Delanzo

I do 100 pushups a day.

Michael Costa

Damn. That is a lot of fucking pushups.

Zach Delanzo

One of our chestier writers.

Michael Costa

You are a chestier writer. Wow. You know, I always said you wrote with your chest.

Zach Delanzo

Thank you. And I.

Michael Costa

And how do you. How do you do 100 push ups?

Zach Delanzo

I do four sets of 25. Wow. At once. Yeah.

Michael Costa

Wow.

Zach Delanzo

But it was a thing I started. This is. Please don't keep any.

Michael Costa

This is show and tell. This is what I want to know.

Zach Delanzo

I guess my thing is that at the beginning of the year I was like, well, also being like, I have a two year old son. It's like hard to find time to exercise. But I was like, if I could just do 100 push ups every day, even if I can't exercise every day, then like at least my body is doing something with all the, all the horse meat I'm eating.

Michael Costa

I feel like. Alan, we should finish this podcast with Zach doing 25.

Zach Delanzo

And while Costa does some rolls out the back. My daily show and tell. I just watched this great. I believe it won best international film in the past five years.

Michael Costa

Bush Pilots, it was called.

Zach Delanzo

It's called Another Round. I believe it's a Danish great movie.

Michael Costa

Yeah, I love that movie.

Zach Delanzo

It's so good. It's about these like Danish middle aged men who are like sort of stuck in their life and one of them is like, oh, there's this like, I forget philosopher, something that thinks like human blood is like actually 5% too low in alcohol content. So they devised this idea, which is the thought that I've had where it's like I'm sort of at my best when I'm like two beers, a little bit drunk.

Michael Costa

Right, right.

Zach Delanzo

So they sort of just like start day drinking and they're all teachers, so they start day drinking like 100 days

Michael Costa

in a row or.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. And they're like keeping track of. They're doing it very scientifically and like it sort of like first improves their lives and then it's a very fun watch.

Michael Costa

It is a fun watch. And it has a wild.

Zach Delanzo

Very beautiful. Yeah.

Michael Costa

Wild ending. Crazy ending.

Zach Delanzo

Yes.

Michael Costa

Yeah, it is beautiful and well shot. I remember watching on an airplane and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Zach Delanzo

Yeah. And I feel like a sort of realistic but and sad, brutal look at.

Michael Costa

Yes.

Zach Delanzo

Middle being a middle aged male and

Michael Costa

also alcohol and how it's meant to like solve your problems, but it creates problems. And yes, I agree.

Zach Delanzo

So that's something I watched lately that really stuck with me.

Michael Costa

Zach, I really enjoyed this. Thanks for hosting.

Zach Delanzo

Thanks, Costa. Thanks for. Thanks for letting me brag about how many push ups I could do. That's all the time we have for the pre cap. I'm Zach delanzo, this is Costa. You got any shows coming up, Costa? Just around the city.

Michael Costa

I always got shows. Michael Costa dot com. I always got shows. I'm going to be in August. I'm going to be doing some road gigs. Nice. Check them over there.

Zach Delanzo

Check Costa out hosting the Daily show this week. Check it out. Comedy Central, Paramount, and right here in podcast form on the Daily Show Ears edition. Thanks to our good friend Alan and Assad, who's I don't know what his job is on the podcast, but he's a great hang.

Michael Costa

Thank you, Alan. Thank you Assad and Walter, thanks again for your insight.

Zach Delanzo

Thanks, Walter.

Producer or Additional Voice

Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus,

Zach Delanzo

this has been a Comedy Central podcast

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